Our Words Matter: ​How Do I Avoid Careless Words?

Welcome to "Our Words Matter" a 5-part mini-series about using our words wisely and avoiding careless words.

​Last month we looked at What Do Careless Words Do? Today, we're looking at How Do I Avoid Careless Words?

Check out all 5 posts in the series:
 

• The Sin of Careless Words
• What Are Careless Words?
• Where Do Careless Words Come From?
• What Do Careless Words Do?
• How Do I Avoid Careless Words?

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​I hope you'll join us for "Our Words Matter" because they do! ​

We must remember that to avoid sin and do what is pleasing to the Lord, we must be proactive. If we are not deliberately pursuing what is right, we will very easily default to what is wrong. So what do we do in the case of careless words?
 
As I said in the beginning, careless words are those that happen when we just don’t think. Therefore, we must start thinking. To be careful with our words we must cultivate the habit of thoughtfully considering two primary factors:

1. What we say
2. Who is listening

         
When it comes to considering our words, the apostle Paul provides us with a wonderful grid through which to pass our words before we speak them.  ​

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

While this verse is particularly focused on our thoughts, it most assuredly applies to our words as well. After all, Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:34 that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Our words proceed from the thoughts of our hearts. We would do well to conform both to what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Following this list alone would prevent us from speaking much of the careless, unnecessary, and insensitive words we say. ​

Next, we must consider to whom we are speaking. There may be times when what we have to say is true, but when we take the hearer into account, it may not be appropriate, timely, or edifying. Ephesians 4:29 exhorts us in this way when it says we should speak only what "is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” We must think about what we are saying in conjunction with who will be hearing it with the ultimate goal being edification. 
 
Consider the following example that writer and widow Gaye Clark shared:

"A year after my husband died, I sat with friends. Together we had decorated, prayed, and planned for a ladies’ event. One friend glanced at her watch and grabbed her purse. 'I’d better get a move on if I’m going to get dinner ready.' She started to leave but turned to me before she reached the door. 'Say, you’re really lucky, you know? You don’t have to put a meal on the table.' My friend had no idea she had sliced me in two on her way out the door. Honestly? Before my husband passed away, I had complained more than once about meal preparation. Now? I’d give anything to have to rush home to cook dinner for my husband." —Gaye Clark

I know I have been guilty of making such comments without stopping to consider the person to whom I am speaking. One evening while I was in college I was hanging out with a group of friends. We were blowing off steam after a grueling semester and started telling each other jokes. When it was my turn, I told a very silly, innocent joke poking fun at mothers. Everyone laughed, except for one friend. Later, it dawned on me why. This particular friend had lost his own mother to cancer just a few years before. The next day, I went to him and asked for forgiveness for being insensitive. My joke, while innocent, was not appropriate or edifying when I considered my friend’s experience.

Our words matter. Not just because of the effect they have on those around us but because we want to honor and please God. There is no more sobering verse in scripture about our speech than Jesus’ words in Matthew 12:36.

"I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak."

As believers, we will not face the condemnatory judgment like that of those who reject Christ (Romans 8:1), but we will still have to give an answer for how we used our words. I appreciate the wise words of J.C. Ryle, who in his commentary on this passage in Matthew had this to say:

"There is nothing, perhaps, to which most men pay less attention than their words. They go through their daily work, speaking and talking without thought or reflection, and seem to imagine that if they do what is right, it matters but little what they say. But is it so? Are our words so utterly trifling and unimportant? We dare not say so, with such a passage of Scripture as this before our eyes. Our words are the evidence of the state of our hearts as surely as the taste of the water is evidence of the state of the spring." —J.C. Ryle

Beloved saints, our words matter. All of them.

• Our words can heal, but they can also wound.
• Our words can build up, but they can also demolish.
• Our words can bring joy, but they can also cause great pain.

Just like our Heavenly Father, we have the ability to create with our words. Let us be diligent not to squander such power or to wield it flippantly. Let us dedicate ourselves to creating that which is pleasing to our Lord and gives grace to all who hear it.

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​Our Words Matter Scripture Memory Cards

This set of 10 5" X 5" Scripture Memory Cards from the "Our Words Matter" mini-series are available in our Etsy shop. These prints will help you memorize Scripture that will impact your life! ​

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How will you use your words today to heal, build up, and bring joy to others?