I’ll be the first to admit—I’m an over-thinker. It’s easy for me to get stuck in my own head, replaying conversations, interpreting situations, and second-guessing the choices I’ve made. I tend to analyze and rethink every detail, weighing outcomes, sorting everything into semi-neat categories, and trying to map out what I think is the “right” way forward.

But over time, the Lord has begun to show me what lies beneath all of that. So much of I attempt to take control of what feels uncertain—to hold it together, to figure it out on my own, to soothe my fear and anxiety by organizing everything in my mind.

The ironic thing is that all this self-talk or storytelling I do does just the opposite. For all the effort, it doesn’t bring the peace I’m looking for. Instead, it keeps me striving and circling the same thoughts and narratives in my mind. ​

Our church has just experienced a bit of a baby boom over the last few months. Many of those little ones are the first baby to be born in their respective families. I was chatting with one of the new fathers recently, and he half-jokingly said, “It didn’t take me very long to realize there are so many ways I could mess this up!” 

There are many levels on which this is true. Of course, in those early days where sleep feels elusive and there are the new demands of caring for a baby, parents can find themselves “messing up” by putting a diaper on backwards, struggling for hours over how to install a car seat, or mistakenly putting the baby’s formula in the coffeemaker! But the older a child becomes, even while they are still small, you begin to realize as a parent how many more serious ways you can “mess this up.” As my daughter has grown, so has the weight of what is at stake and my desire to get it right. ​

Often, as one year comes to a close and a new one begins, we consider the changes we’d like to make or how we can implement new rhythms and routines to better our lives. While I think looking ahead and setting goals is a worthy endeavor for the new year, it is also a great time to pause and look back. For the last couple of years, I have tried to make it a practice to spend time reflecting on the closing year.

What were the high points?
What were the lows?
How did God show His faithfulness?
What lessons has God taught me that I want to carry with me into this new year? 

That last question is something I have really given a lot of thought to in the past couple of weeks. Throughout the past year, God taught and revealed many things to me. ​

“Joy to the World” is one of the most well-known and well-loved Christmas songs today. But a quick look into its history reveals something surprising: it’s not actually a Christmas carol—and it wasn’t even written about Christmas in the first place.

The song was written by Isaac Watts, who is often called the “father of English hymns” for writing more than 750 hymns! Born in 1674 in Southampton, England, Watts grew up in a very religious family. Even as a young child, he had an incredible knack for writing poetry and rhyme. As he grew, his love and talent for lyrical writing flourished. He eventually became a pastor at a church in London, earned a strong reputation as a preacher, and even devoted himself to training other ministers. But His greatest heart desired to translate the rich truths of Scripture and Christian doctrine into genuine and heartfelt worship and music.

In just a few short weeks, families and friends will gather, food will be shared, football and parades will be viewed, and hopefully, thanks will be given. Like many families, I can long recall the tradition of going around the table while each person shares what he or she is thankful for that year. For most of us, our gratitude will be directed toward the many blessings in our lives — family, friends, resources, experiences, etc. It is good and right that we acknowledge and show gratitude for the many gifts that God gives us. But how many of us will simply say we are thankful for God? 

God is far more glorious than any of His gifts. And while it would be wrong not to lift up these good gifts in praise, I think we can miss the mark of true gratitude when our thanks for the gift doesn’t lead us to the real prize — worship and adoration of the Giver. ​

It feels like our world is in upheaval.

I’m old enough to be able to look back over the decades and see what feels like a rising flood of tension, hatred, and love of self and sin that is now spilling over in our world today. As time passes, I’ve grown more unsettled with it all. But after the events of the last few weeks and months, I finally felt the dam in my heart break.

Through tears, I said to my husband one evening, “I get it now. I understand the longing and the heart cry of ‘Come, Lord Jesus!’”

In my feeble and frail humanity, I’ve grown tired of this world. Not simply the acceptance of sin, but the open celebration of it, sickens me.

I told my husband that while I’ve looked forward to Heaven, that longing has always had an asterisk above it. ​

This past July, there was a massive 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Russia, which set off tsunami alerts and evacuations across the Pacific. Living in Hawai’i, we received emergency notifications on our phones and sirens sounded throughout each neighborhood, alerting us of an impending tsunami that was predicted to arrive by early evening, giving us islanders about 4-5 hours to prepare and move to higher ground if need be. 

Thankfully, we live far enough inland to be outside of a possible flood zone, but people who live or work near the coastal areas were told to evacuate immediately. Hotels and resorts told vacationers to move up to higher floors. Officials cautioned people to stay off beaches. Warning sirens sounded every hour to remind people to get somewhere safe as quickly as possible.