Last month, we looked at some thieves of our joy in 4 Ways to Take Back Your Joy. Do you remember them? Have you encountered them this month? They could manifest in circumstances, people, things, or worry. Or maybe you found another one that isn’t stated in this list. The important takeaway from the first part of our study is to identify the things that steal our joy and seek God’s help to combat those thieves with His Word and renewing our minds. I believe that Paul lays out for us four attitudes, one from each chapter of Philippians, that can help you maintain your joy.[1] Let’s take a quick survey of these chapters as they relate to our attitudes and thinking!

One of the joys of our family living in Hawaiʻi has been discovering foods we never would have tried otherwise. I've been especially amazed by the incredible variety of tropical fruits, many of which I didn't even know existed before moving here.

One of those is a citrus fruit known locally in Hawaiʻi as jabong. Native to Southeast Asia, jabong was introduced to the Hawaiian Islands more than a century ago and has thrived in the islands' tropical climate.

The first time I saw a jabong tree, I was fascinated. At first, I honestly thought someone had hung giant yellow ornaments from the branches! The fruit is enormous, measuring about 6 to 12 inches across and weighing anywhere from 1 to 4 pounds. Seeing a tree laden down with these massive citrus fruits was both surprising and a little comical. ​

Have you ever woken up on a bright, sunny morning when you should feel great, but you just don’t? I know there are many factors in the lives of women that make life hard and often not enjoyable. I find that often my joy is affected by so many outside influences and can vary based on the moment. A text dings on my phone, and suddenly, my whole attitude shifts. Maybe your child reacts to something you said, and now you are in a bad mood. Maybe your husband makes a careless comment about your appearance or your cooking, and now your whole day is ruined. How do we combat these types of emotional shifts and influences on our joy each day?

​A couple of weeks ago, my best friend lost her brother to cancer. It was a short but intense battle. And while there is some relief at knowing he is no longer suffering and is enjoying the glories of Heaven and his Savior, it comes as no surprise that there is still immense grief and pain for his family and friends he has left behind. 

Over the past weeks, my friend and I have had many conversations about loss, grief, and the things people say when they don't know what else to say. It hasn't surprised me how often well-intentioned words—even words that may be theologically true—have landed poorly. Instead of bringing comfort, they sometimes deepen the pain, placing expectations on grieving people before they've had the chance to simply mourn.

“He is in a better place.”
“Everything happens for a reason.” 

Have you ever asked a question you already know the answer to, just so the person you are asking has to respond and prove what they know?

​If you’re a mom or a teacher, I am positive you have done this! Some of you sweet mammas answer a million questions every day with all the love in the world for those little ones.

​I remember, as a teacher, often asking a particular student a question to test his understanding of a concept. I knew the answer and didn’t really need him to answer me per se, but what I needed was to prove his knowledge of that content.

Years ago, when my husband and I were dating, he had a friend who worked in the kitchen of a very well-known sit-down restaurant chain. What I learned from his stories opened my eyes to what goes on behind the scenes in most restaurants, revealing a world to me that, in some ways, I wish I knew nothing about. 

One such revelation was that most of the food in these establishments is not cooked or prepared on site. Instead, most of these dining chains rely heavily on a system of mass-produced, pre-prepared frozen ingredients and mixes that are shipped to individual locations to be reheated and assembled.

​In one conversation, I remember this roommate saying that the joke within the industry was that one particular restaurant should be renamed “Microwave Garden” since that’s basically what was happening in the kitchen. 

I’ll be the first to admit—I’m an over-thinker. It’s easy for me to get stuck in my own head, replaying conversations, interpreting situations, and second-guessing the choices I’ve made. I tend to analyze and rethink every detail, weighing outcomes, sorting everything into semi-neat categories, and trying to map out what I think is the “right” way forward.

But over time, the Lord has begun to show me what lies beneath all of that. So much of I attempt to take control of what feels uncertain—to hold it together, to figure it out on my own, to soothe my fear and anxiety by organizing everything in my mind.

The ironic thing is that all this self-talk or storytelling I do does just the opposite. For all the effort, it doesn’t bring the peace I’m looking for. Instead, it keeps me striving and circling the same thoughts and narratives in my mind. ​