Soooo…. The other day I was struggling with depression. Yes, [raises hand] I struggle with depression. For those who know my story, the last few years have been incredibly painful. Where can I find hope when my heart hurts? I have looked in many places. The only thing that has brought life to the deep sting of death is God’s Word, the Bible.

So there I was again, feeling beaten down after a long day. Despairing of life. My hands reaching up as a last-ditch effort for God to meet me in my need. I read a section from a little devotional book and it settles me just enough to fall asleep.

I wake with the same pain and anxieties I went to bed with. But I open my Bible reading app and read the assigned text for the day. And that’s when it hit me…

//Pause// Have you ever read something in the Bible that you’ve totally read like 1,000 times… except for this time, it seemed completely new and written just for you? That was me at that moment! //Play//

THIS is my hope!!

In a raw and real way, the author David pours his heart out to God. He is in so much pain! He doesn’t know if it will ever end. I feel ya man! But then he ends with this:

Truth: The Bible says that there is purpose in our pain. Now, this verse is telling me that God Himself will maintain that purpose and not let it slide. No matter how deep or long the affliction, God will not let pain be a waste.

Response:​ “O Lord, engrave in my heart the surety of You maintaining my cause!”

Truth: These are promises, friends! If you are in Christ, then the words righteous and upright apply to your account. Let us gaze upon the cross and be silent. The longer I gaze the more I find thankfulness bubbling up in my heart. The more I imagine seeing Jesus face-to-face in Heaven, the more excitement swells in my soul!

Response: “Father, set my heart solidly on the far yet near future of dwelling in Your presence, and overflow my heart with thanks to Your name.”

Thinking I was alone, the next day I shared my deep, ugly struggles with a friend. And wouldn’t you know it, she said she’s been struggling with the same thing! We then shared with each other some solace we’ve found in Scripture. And let me tell you, it was a balm for the soul!

Dear friend, are you struggling? Please don’t be silent and alone! Reach out to us, a Christian near you, someone.

If you are a Christian, then you’ve been adopted into a FAMILY. You’re not supposed to go at this life alone, and you don’t have to. I only say this because that’s what I used to believe. But it’s not true.

​As I stood in the kitchen hovering over my Insta Pot, I had no idea what the next few minutes would hold. Much like a popular crime show, I have listed the events in chronological order to paint the scene. I have chosen to leave out names to protect the guilty. To help with the proper amount of drama, it would be helpful to imagine each event with that ominous and dark sound effect.

​5:07 – A call comes in from my husband saying the car won’t start.

5:09 – I am the recipient of an eye roll and huge sigh from a teen who doesn’t want to clean the living room.

​I had a very wise and seasoned mother impart a piece of advice that has been woven into the fabric of almost every day since.

• You need to remain unmovable and still when faced with algebra grades and attitude.
• You need to absorb the eye rolls and drama with a listening ear and quiet resolve.
• The ups and downs of motherhood will shake you to your core if you can’t learn to stand still, pray, listen, and then respond.

Sitting on my porch, my prayer rang out again as it has so many times.

Come what may, God never changes His position or falters under the weight. We are not moved because He can’t be.

Well, as I gathered myself together to head back in the fray, I had the right gaze and the reminder of His arms holding me.

The next 30 minutes actually still resembled the previous set, but there was a difference. I wasn’t resting in my strength, determination, or wisdom. Now I was resting on the only One who can never be shaken.