5 Signs of a Functional Family: Intimacy Between the Husband and Wife

This post is the second in a 5-part series of studies on the family. Last week we talked about An Attitude of Service. This week it's Intimacy Between the Husband and Wife.​Functional families are families that have within them an attitude of service and a level of intimacy between the husband and wife that is characteristic of godliness. The world has reduced the relationship between a man and a woman to nothing more than a physical relationship with no boundaries or commitment. In a Christ-like home the husband and wife will have a relationship that exemplifies the bond that God intended.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:21-33

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Post Continued

​There are several facets to a truly intimate relationship. While the physical relationship that is enjoyed between a husband and wife is a wonderful gift from God, and should be developed and cherished, it is a relatively small part and will not be everything it can be without the development of four other areas of intimacy:

1. ​Emotional intimacy should be shared between a husband and wife. That is to say that men as well as women should be willing to allow their mate to enter that inner world of feelings and thoughts.
2. Intellectual intimacy is attained through the careful attention to sharing and discussing thoughts and ideas. The practice of reading and thinking is one that is becoming archaic but needs to be resurrected and practiced. Husbands and wives should set aside time to discuss ideas they have gained from a book they are reading, experiences at work or current events. 
3. A daily time set aside for relating to your mate the events of your day will allow the development of social intimacy, which will in turn establish and strengthen trust. 
4. Every Christian couple should develop a high level of spiritual intimacy through the frequent discussion of spiritual matters. This is accomplished by sharing with one another what God is teaching you through your daily devotions or discussing the subject matter of the sermon on Sunday. 

As husbands and wives develop each of these areas of intimacy, their relationship will be strengthened lending security and making the family a truly functional family.

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Come and Gather: Family Time with God

Introducing Come and Gather: Family Time with God, or what we lovingly refer to as Gather.

Gather is a lovely, 35-page, daily devotional centered around families enjoying time together with God and each other.

This 27-day devotional is divided into 3 parts: 

Part One: Days 1-5, is written specifically with husbands and wives in mind. In this part of Gather, husbands and wives will explore 5 Signs of a Functional Family.

5 Signs of a Functional Family includes:

1. An Attitude of Service
2. Intimacy Between the Husband and Wife
3. Husbands Who Are Loving Leaders
4. Parents Who Teach and Train
5. Children Who Honor and Obey​

Part Two: Days 6-20, is written with the whole family in mind. It's A Walk Through God’s Word. From Genesis to Revelation we will discuss subjects like God's mercy and protection, being humble, dealing with difficulties, having a teachable spirit, dependence on God, and much more.

Part Three: Days 21-27, is a Men of God Character Study. We'll learn character traits that every Christian should strive to demonstrate in their life straight from characters in God's Word. 

At the end of Gather, you'll find a place for your family to record specific prayer requests. I love being specific with my prayer request and seeing God answer in specific ways. Recording the answers, as well as the requests, is a great way to help your children see God working in your lives.

​​Join the movement today and download Gather for free today!

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Five Signs of a Functional Family is an older book, however, the principles for strong, functional families, that Chapman uses from God's Word have not changed and because of that I find this book still very relevant today. Plus, you can pick up a hardback copy on Amazon for less than $3.00!

"Strong, functional families do exist today. But if you want to establish healthy patterns in your own family, you'll need to learn how to recognize and apply the qualities they share. Gary Chapman introduces them in Five Signs of a Functional Family." —goodreads

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Of those four different kinds of intimacy, emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual, which do you find the most difficult to develop?