5 Signs of a Functional Family: An Attitude of Service

This post is the first in a 5-part series of studies on the family. Much is said in today's society about functional and dysfunctional families. It goes without saying that God’s plan for the Christian family is one of functionality, harmony and love. In the midst of all the pop culture and psychobabble of the day it is necessary to go back to the Word of God for a complete understanding of exactly what is a functional family.

In his book, Five Signs of a Functional Family, Gary Chapman discusses five key elements that are present in every family that is honoring God. All five of these signs are addressed in the post Come and Gather: Family Time With God.

Today, we're going to talk about an attitude of service.

"Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 5:21-6:4

“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians5: 21).

For a family to function as it ought there must be an attitude of service prevalent in the home. Ephesians 5:21 uses the word submitting which carries with it the idea of being in service to someone. Jesus Christ gave us the perfect example when He left the glory and splendor of heaven to be born a servant.

How is an attitude of service cultivated in a family when the thrust of the day is one of who can serve me? It is not a natural thing to be a servant or desire to serve others. We are by nature a selfish people. An attitude of service will become prevalent in a home as leadership models it. Fathers must lead the way by serving their wives and children instead of expecting to be served by them. The husband may be the king, but a good king seeks to serve his subjects.

Another way for a family to develop a servant’s spirit is to serve the Lord together. Ask yourself this question, what can our family do together to serve the Lord in our local church? Personal care home ministries, the rescue mission, and canvassing neighborhoods are all ways that a family can serve the Lord together in their local church. Children need to see their parents serving, not just hear about it. Some of my fondest childhood memories revolve around times of bus visitation and service the Lord together with my father.

In this day and age, when the dysfunctional has become commonplace, make your family a functional family by developing an attitude of service among the family members. Serve one another, serve the Lord together, and reap the benefits of joy, harmony and happiness that come only to godly, functional families.

Reprinted with permission | Pastor Jeremy Sweatt | Farmington Avenue Baptist Church, West Hartford, CT

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Come and Gather: Family Time with God

Introducing Come and Gather: Family Time with God, or what we lovingly refer to as Gather.

Gather is a lovely, 35-page, daily devotional centered around families enjoying time together with God and each other.

​This 27-day devotional is divided into 3 parts: 

Part One: Days 1-5, is written specifically with husbands and wives in mind. In this part of Gather, husbands and wives will explore 5 Signs of a Functional Family.

5 Signs of a Functional Family includes:

1. An Attitude of Service
2. Intimacy Between the Husband and Wife
3. Husbands Who Are Loving Leaders
4. Parents Who Teach and Train
5. Children Who Honor and Obey​

​Part Two: Days 6-20, is written with the whole family in mind. It's A Walk Through God’s Word. From Genesis to Revelation we will discuss subjects like God's mercy and protection, being humble, dealing with difficulties, having a teachable spirit, dependence on God, and much more.

Part Three: Days 21-27, is a Men of God Character Study. We'll learn character traits that every Christin should strive to demonstrate in their life straight from characters in God's Word. 

At the end of Gather, you'll find a place for your family to record specific prayer requests. I love being specific with my prayer request and seeing God answer in specific ways. Recording the answers, as well as the requests, is a great way to help your children see God working in your lives.

​Join the movement today and download Gather for free toady!

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Five Signs of a Functional Family is an older book, however, the principles for strong, functional families, that Chapman uses from God's Word have not changed and because of that I find this book still very relevant today. Plus, you can pick up a hardback copy on Amazon for less than $3.00!

"Strong, functional families do exist today. But if you want to establish healthy patterns in your own family, you'll need to learn how to recognize and apply the qualities they share. Gary Chapman introduces them in Five Signs of a Functional Family." —goodreads

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How do you display an attitude of service in your home?