10 Things Successful Couples Do

Marriage in a Lifelong Commitment

One of the primary, biblical building blocks for a successful marriage is for the bride and groom to make a lifelong commitment. The Word of God makes it clear that when a man and woman marry, they are at the same time committing themselves to remain married for life. ​

Jesus said: 

"​He answered, 'Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?' So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Then, in response to a question about divorce, Jesus continued:

"He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'" Matthew 19:8-9

One way to make that lifelong commitment stick is to pray over your marriage. ​Checkout 30 Prayers to Pray Over Your Marriage. Some of the best newlywed advice I've read is found here Marriage Advice for Future Me.

From This Day Forward

The marriage vow, therefore, is the expression of a lifelong commitment. The meaning of the vow from this day forward extends throughout one's lifetime. It's a vow that is not to be taken lightly or broken.

"​When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for He has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow." Ecclesiastes 5:4

What's Lifelong Commitment Mean?

This is a true story, and I'm sure there are many others like it: A man and woman had been married only a year when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. After thinking seriously about it, she told her husband she was setting him free. But he would not leave her. The tender care and love he showered on her made her remaining years happy and special. Why did he do it? "Because," he said, "when I vowed before God 'for better or for worse' and 'in sickness and in health,' I meant it. And God made both of us unbelievably happy as a result."  

What if I'm Struggling With This Lifelong Commitment?

A lifelong commitment in a marriage relationship is a beautiful thing. It's a gift! Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed with this gift. You may be one that is struggling in a marriage relationship right now, and you're not sure where it's going. Recently, I came across this list of 10 Things Successful Couples Do by Mitch Temple and I was inspired by it! I thought I'd share them with you here today.

But first, let me tell you a little bit about the author: Mitch Temple writes for Focus On The Family and holds graduate degrees in counseling and marriage/family therapy. He has served as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage-and family-related issues. He is also the author or co-author of five books, including The Marriage Turnaround and HELP! My Spouse and I Are Drifting Apart. He's a published author in various professional journals as well. Mitch and his wife, Rhonda, have been married for over 30 years and have 3 grown children. I hope this inspiring list of 10 Things Successful Couple Do is an encouragement to you today, and if you're working at one of those lifelong commitments, I hope it makes that commitment even sweeter!

10 Things Successful Couples Do

1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
2. Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
10. A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.

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Today, we want to hear your lifelong commitment stories. If you've seen one or been blessed to be a part of one, please share your story with us.