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When Hope is Lost

4/19/2019

24 Comments

 
When Hope is Lost: ​Recently, my husband said something that gave my heart a serious wake-up call. I was crying like I’ve been doing for the past two months since my best friend suddenly and unexpectedly went to heaven. My grief can be overwhelming and I was drowning...
​Recently, my husband said something that gave my heart a serious wake-up call. I was crying like I’ve been doing for the past two months since my best friend suddenly and unexpectedly went to heaven. My grief can be overwhelming and I was drowning in an ocean of tears when my husband walked in the room. He desperately wanted to comfort me, but when he looked me in the eyes, he said,

​“You know God’s Word tells us as believers that we do not grieve as those without hope. When I look at you like this, I don’t see any hope in your eyes.”

Although I knew he meant to help me, that statement felt like a punch in the stomach. His words continued to tumble in my mind until I sensed the Holy Spirit confirming what he said. “It’s true.” I thought, “My hope feels as broken as my heart does.”
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I had to find out. As I sought the Lord, He reminded me of a statement my pastor made while speaking at a funeral for his own friend. He said, “Brokenness is not healed by explanations. Brokenness is healed by the love and grace of God.” — Pastor Ryan Bowman

Where Do We Go When We’ve Lost Hope

​He’s right. In my grief, I was fixated on finding an explanation for why God would allow this horrible tragedy. My friend lived for the Lord, serving Him in missions and ministry. For years we prayed for her to find a godly husband, and God answered her prayers with the most amazing man. Yet, before they could have their wedding day, God took her. Why? I couldn’t understand how this could be His plan. My grief focused on all that was lost of our past and of the future. Broken dreams, broken hopes. But, brokenness is not healed by explanations. Brokenness is healed by the love and grace of God. That’s where I had to go to find hope again.

So I Began with the Love of God

John 3:16 tells me, “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” (CSB) The love of God was displayed in the gift of His Son. When I look at Jesus, I see Him hanging on the cross, bleeding the blood of redemption, bearing the weight of my sin, taking my shame, my guilt and giving Himself for me. There is no greater love than that. God’s love gave me the hope of redemption.

God’s Grace is a Gift I Don’t Deserve

I looked for God’s grace and I found it in a garden just outside an empty tomb. John 20 describes the moment when Mary Magdalene met the risen Savior:
“But Mary stood outside the tomb, crying. As she was crying, she stooped to look into the tomb. She saw two angels in white sitting where Jesus’s body had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, ‘Woman, why are you crying?’ ‘Because they’ve taken away my Lord,’ she told them. Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know it was Jesus. ‘Woman,’ Jesus said to her, ‘why are you crying? Who is it that you’re seeking?’ Supposing He was the gardener, she replied, ‘Sir, if you’ve carried Him away, tell me where you’ve put Him, and I will take Him away.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Mary.’ (John 20:11-16 CSB)
Suddenly, Mary recognized Jesus and wanted to hold onto Him, never letting go. He told her to go and tell His disciples. She found them and announced, “I have seen the Lord!” Her hope was restored by His grace. God’s grace is found in the risen Savior. God’s grace gave me the hope of the resurrection.

Because of God’s Love and Grace I Can Grieve with Hope

  • Because of His love, my friend and I both have been redeemed.
  • Because of God’s grace, I can look to the resurrected Savior who promises eternal life with Him.
  • Because of the love and grace of God, I will see my sweet friend again one day in Heaven.
​
​I’m thankful God restored my hope, even in grief. And I long for the day when my hope is fulfilled in eternity with Him.
"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." I Thessalonians 4:13 ​

Resources for Help in Walking Through Grief

A Place of Healing
A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God's Sovereignty by Joni Earekson Tada
​In this eloquent account of her current struggle with physical pain, Joni Eareckson Tada offers her perspective on divine healing, God’s purposes, and what it means to live with joy.

Over four decades ago, a diving accident left Joni a quadriplegic. Today, she faces a new battle: unrelenting pain. The ongoing urgency of this season in her life has caused Joni to return to foundational questions about suffering and God’s will.
A Place of Healing is not an ivory-tower treatise on suffering. It’s an intimate look into the life of a mature woman of God. Whether readers are enduring physical pain, financial loss, or relational grief, Joni invites them to process their suffering with her. Together, they will navigate the distance between God’s magnificent yes and heartbreaking no—and find new hope for thriving in-between. ​
“As a matter of fact, God isn't asking you to be thankful. He's asking you to give thanks. There's a big difference. One response involves emotions, the other your choices, your decisions about a situation, your intent, your step of faith.” ―Joni Eareckson Tada, A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God's Sovereignty

Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense by Paul David Tripp
“This book is a balm to the soul that you will pick up and not be able to put down." ―Ann Voskamp, New York Times best-selling author, The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts
Suffering by Paul Tripp
Sometimes life just hurts. Out of nowhere, death, illness, unemployment, or a difficult relationship can change our lives and challenge everything we thought we knew―leaving us feeling unable to cope. But, in the midst of all this pain and confusion, we are not alone.
​
Weaving together his personal story, pastoral ministry experience, and biblical insights, best-selling author Paul David Tripp helps us trust God in the midst of suffering. He identifies traps to avoid in our suffering and points us instead to comforts to embrace. This raw yet hope-filled book will help you cling to God's promises when trials come and move forward with the hope of the gospel.
“Weakness simply demonstrates what has been true all along: we are completely dependent on God for life and breath and everything else. Weakness was not the end for me, but a new beginning, because weakness provides the context in which true strength is found.” ―Paul David Tripp, Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense

Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love by Raymond R. Mitsch and Lynn Brookside
Few losses are as painful as the death of someone close. No valley is as vast as grief, no journey as personal and life changing. Compassionate and wise guides Raymond Mitsch and Lynn Brookside shine a light on the road through grief. They can help you endure the anguish and uncertainty; understand the cycles of grief; sort through the emotions of anger, guilt, fear, and depression; and face the God who allowed you to lose the one you love. A series of thoughtful daily devotions, Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love shares wisdom, insight, and comfort that will help you through and beyond your grief.
Grieving the Loss
Download a free sample of Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love here.
"Christians are not exempt from grief, not yet anyway. When we lose someone, we too will deny; we will hurt; we will weep; we will rage; we may even bargain with God. The difference for us is that we have hope." —Raymond R. Mitsch and Lynn Brookside, Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love

Stephanie
What has helped you grieve the loss of a loved one?
Please Share
24 Comments
sue link
4/19/2019 01:10:50 pm

I'm glad that God didn't say: Don't ever grieve. I'm glad your husband came in the room and said lovingly the way to grieve. I"m so sorry that your friend left too soon in the eyes of those left behind. May this weekend give you fresh hope and even joy. Sue

Reply
Stephanie Little link
4/19/2019 08:48:30 pm

Thank you so much for your encouragement. The hope of Easter brings such joy! I pray you experience it too!
Stephanie

Reply
Rebecca Jones link
4/19/2019 03:57:52 pm

What a great post and verse to remember, Grief is a terrible and tormenting spirit if left unchecked, I have seen it ruin lives. We never really lose hope because He is our hope. I hope you have peace about your friend, His peace.

Reply
Stephanie Little link
4/19/2019 09:09:44 pm

Thank you so much. Grief is something I thought I understood, but I’m learning there is always more to learn about it. I pray you have a blessed Easter.

In Him,
Stephanie

Reply
Carolina link
4/19/2019 04:00:07 pm

I love the phrase grieving with hope. It is ok to grieve, but grieving while we keep our eyes and our hope in Jesus give us a peace that surpasses all understanding. Great Post, thank you so much for sharing!

Reply
Stephanie Little link
4/19/2019 09:12:24 pm

Thank you so much! Yes, keeping our eyes open and on Him brings such clarity in grief.
Easter blessings to you!
In Him,
Stephanie

Reply
Lisa
4/22/2019 03:12:15 pm

How I have been praying for you my sweet friend!
What a good man God gave you.
I am so thankful that “the LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit”(Psalm 34:18).

My prayers will continue.
With love and hope in Him,

Reply
Stephanie link
4/29/2019 10:02:59 am

Thank you, Lisa. God has used your life, ministry and words to help me along on this grief journey. You are such a blessing.
In Him,
Stephanie

Reply
Jana link
4/22/2019 06:35:37 pm

God's Word has astounded me with comfort these past few years of grief. How grateful I am that God understands our grief and has even given us words to help us express our sorrow and grieve well.

P.S. I absolutely LOVE that quote from your pastor: “Brokenness is not healed by explanations. Brokenness is healed by the love and grace of God.”

Reply
Stephanie link
4/29/2019 10:05:50 am

Yes! I am so thankful that God uses His body to bring His comfort to the hurting. I pray that you continue to know His comfort in grief.

In Him,
Stephanie

Reply
Veronica Lee link
4/23/2019 12:33:46 am

Grief is a terrible thing. Thankfully our God understands our grief and wraps us in His love and comfort.

#GlobalBlogging

Reply
Stephanie link
4/29/2019 10:08:11 am

Yes, grief is so very difficult. I’m thankful that one day it will be gone forever.
In Him,
Stephanie

Reply
Cheryl Key
4/23/2019 07:08:36 am

Stephanie thank you for sharing and being so transparent. I know we have a great hope in Christ when we lose someone we love dearly and I am so thankful for that. Thank you for reminding us. You will never get over losing Andi but with Gods grace you will get through it. Love you girl.

Reply
Stephanie link
4/29/2019 08:06:45 pm

Cheryl,

Thank you for your prayers and your sweet encouragement.
Love you!
Stephanie

Reply
Barbara H
4/24/2019 06:30:37 am

Blessed to walk beside you in this life on earth. Just think of the intense Grief you have felt and will continue to feel for this One special person in your life. When we think One person can cause this much pain, I have to ask the question of how did Jesus endure my grief, your grief, and my daughters grief and everyone who has ever been born grief? My thought is this is how/why Jesus sweated drops of blood in the garden.

Reply
stephanie link
4/29/2019 08:08:17 pm

Thank you so much for walking alongside me through all of this. You are a true blessing in my life.
Love,
Stephanie

Reply
Pam
4/25/2019 07:51:55 am

Sweet Stephanie, I’m so sorry for the pain you are experiencing in the passing of Andi. Praying for you every night when I say prayers with my Granny. And the Lord had you on my heart this morning. Praying that you feel His presence in a real and special way today.

I am so thankful to have so many people in my life that constantly point me to Jesus, no matter what season they are going through. You are one of those. I love you my sister.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. -Romans 8:18

Is He worthy? He is.

PS Did you happen to watch Jax Passion Play online this year? It was so beautiful. And you can get the music from ITunes, etc., and it has blessed me so much. Take a listen if you can. ❤️

Reply
Patsy Burnette link
4/20/2021 09:07:20 pm

Pam, it is so wonderful to have people in our life that constantly point us to Jesus. Stephanie has been that for me as well. Blessed!

Reply
Noleen Miller link
4/26/2019 07:53:09 am

Two weeks ago I lost my dad - his death was also sudden. There was so many "what ifs"; "could'ves", "should'ves" but God has a plan for all of us and I take solace in the fact that my dad lived a full and meaningful life. Just like my dad - I place my hope in God and not people. And for that reason - there is always hope. It's interesting as my blog post for this week is about his Eulogy I delivered. From one grieving blogger to another - the grieving journey takes time and should not be rushed. We all experience it differently, but hold on to the beautiful memories of your friend. Take care and all the best #globalblogging

Reply
Patsy Burnette link
4/20/2021 09:10:24 pm

The "what ifs"; "could'ves", and "should'ves" are the worst, Noleen! I'm so sorry about your dad! So glad that his hope was firmly placed in God. There is no better Hope! I love how you write, "I place my hope in God and not people. And for that reason - there is always hope." Beautiful!

Reply
Brittany link
4/28/2019 08:23:51 pm

That statement truly spoke volumes to me. Brokenness is not healed in explanations. Nothing explains pain away. Not ever. God’s love heals. God’s grace heals. This is beautiful.

Reply
Patsy Burnette link
4/20/2021 09:11:23 pm

That's a lovely quote, Brittany. I'm so glad it spoke to you personally! Thank you!

Reply
Heather Keet link
4/28/2019 08:48:53 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, when it is sudden it can feel so much worse. #GlobalBlogging

Reply
Patsy Burnette link
4/20/2021 09:12:00 pm

Thanks for stopping by, Heather! :)

Reply

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