​The Things We Tell Ourselves

How Our Inner Monologue
​Determines Our Outward Actions

Whether you’re a dramatic Disney villain ranting about insufferable princesses or a stressed-out mom picking up after your cyclone of children passing through the house, you’ve probably been caught talking to yourself at least once in your life.

The truth is, we all find the idea of talking to ourselves rather funny. We have pictures in our minds of those people that usually take the form of absent-minded scientists or psychotic mental patients. Either way, they’re slightly insane. 

​While most people don’t make a habit of conversing with themselves audibly, we all talk to ourselves every day. In fact, the person you listen to the most throughout life is yourself.

​This gives your own opinion a lot of power in your life because it’s the opinion that shapes your actions and beliefs. As you go about your day, what are you telling yourself?

• About life? 
• About other people? 
• About yourself? 
• About God? 

It might seem funny to think about filtering your own voice inside your head, but our “inner voice” comes from our heart—our deepest thoughts and desires. We know from Scripture that our hearts are “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9), so why do we allow our hearts to express opinions in a rambling flow of inner monologue without consequences? ​​

Your heart deceives you by justifying jealousy, laughing at laziness, and reveling in retaliation long before any outward actions follow. No one else gets to hear the witty voice inside your head that snaps back at someone while your lips stay silent. No one has to listen to the vindictive voice of my heart when I am treated unjustly. We are good at keeping all of that in its “proper place” on the inside. We tell ourselves that venting, belittling, and even swearing is safe inside of our heads because nobody else knows and even God doesn’t expect us to be perfect.

I can’t tell you how many times I have thought unkindly or sarcastically about someone inside of my head. Then, when the Holy Spirit calls me out on my unloving thoughts, I tell myself “They deserve it. At least I’m not gossiping about them like they do about me.” When my inner voice habitually justifies unloving thoughts, they begin to fester in my heart until unkind words and actions emerge in my life, and I wonder, “How did I become so mean?” 

The answer? By allowing that inner voice inside my head to deceive me, day by day forming mental habits that gradually alter my beliefs and actions. One harmless thought at a time. ​​

Our inner voice is a quiet, demure, easily dismissible thing, because we mistake it for our personality. It is human to have your own quirky way of thinking and speaking. God made each of us personally unique and special. But as long as our hearts are wicked, our inner voice won’t just be reflecting our personalities.

It will also be spouting sinful lies about:

• Our lives
• Our sins
• Our community
• Our God

Have you ever spoken words before clamping a hand over your mouth and thinking, “Where did that come from?” Have you ever found yourself at the end of a free weekend wondering, “How did I manage to waste 48 hours doing nothing?” ​

Consider:

• Procrastination--You tell yourself you can do it tomorrow long before you make a physical choice not to do it today.
• Laziness--You tell yourself you’d be happier watching TV before you walk away from the sink full of dirty dishes. 
• Sin --When temptation strikes and the Holy Spirit raises a red flag in your mind and heart, you tell yourself it’s not a big deal—you can confess it later—and that comforting knowledge leads you to sin. 

In each of these moments we are telling ourselves things that aren’t true. Yes, all of these things might bring instant pleasure, but they also cause longer-lasting pain. Procrastination and laziness cause responsibilities to pile up, making us feel overwhelmed and depressed. Giving into temptation results in sin, and sin always has bad consequences—ever since Adam and Eve. 

Sometimes, I think we feel too safe in the security of our own bodies. We expect temptation to come from the outside, and fail to see that we have already been deceived. Our outward mistakes are rehearsed in our heads before they open dramatic performances in the scenes of our day-to-day lives. The battle for our own little life drama is fought between our deceitful hearts and God’s Truth.

• We complain to ourselves before we complain to others.
• We lie to ourselves before we lie to others.
• We judge ourselves before we judge others.

All of these things are anti-truth. ​

Why do we complain? Because we've told ourselves we deserve better, when in truth we have far more than we deserve. 

Why do we lie? Because we have told ourselves that lying will have better consequences for us than telling the truth, even though we know that lying is a sin and that sin has eternal consequences. 

Why do we pass judgement? ​Because we have told ourselves that we are better than other people, even when we know that “there is none righteous, no, not one” (Romans 3:10).

We are deceiving ourselves—allowing our hearts to instruct us according to what feels good. Our constantly flowing inner monologue never fails to portray self in the best light, belittle others when we’re not looking so good, and rationalize all of the wrong things we crave.

• We crave comfort, so our heart tells us we deserve a break from responsibility.
• We crave respect, so we lie to keep people from seeing us as we are.
• We crave pleasure, so we overindulge in food, overspend on material things, and invite seductive thoughts.

In her book Lies Women Believe, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth writes:

"For many of us there is a disconnect between what we know intellectually and what we feel emotionally. And therein lies one of our problems: we trust what our feelings tell us is true rather than what God’s Word declares to be true.” 

Mrs. Wolgemuth strikes right at the heart of the issue with her words. In every life situation we must choose whether to believe what our feelings tell us is true or what God’s Word tells us is true. The weapon we have to fight the evil both in the outside world and in the comfortable confines of our own hearts is God’s Truth. ​

So, the next time you hear a voice in your head telling you that God loves your friend more than He loves you because she is abounding in blessings and you are struggling through trials, tell yourself, “Self, that is a lie. I know that is a lie because God tells me in Romans 8 that trials cannot separate me from the love of God.”

The next time you hear a voice in your head telling you that this temptation will only lead to a small sin that really doesn’t matter, tell yourself, “Sweetheart, I love you, but you know that’s just not true. The Bible tells me that Christ died for every sin—big and small—and that He hates sin.”

As Mrs. Wolgemuth put it, ​

"Once we identify the lies that have put us in spiritual bondage and repent of believing those lies, we have an effective weapon to overcome deception—the weapon of Truth!"

When you hear your heart prattling on about things that aren’t true, stop and contradict yourself with the Truths of Scripture. Yes, out loud if you have to! Everyone else will either think you’re crazy or brilliant. Either option makes your life more interesting. 

Your attitude and actions will either follow the deception of your heart as it seeks momentary pleasure or the Truth of God that leads to ultimate freedom. Choose to believe God.

So, let’s start talking Truth to ourselves!

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Counter the lies that keep you from abundant living

Satan is the master deceiver; his lies are endless. And the lies Christian women believe are at the root of most of their struggles.

"Many women live under a cloud of personal guilt and condemnation," says Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. "Many are in bondage to their past. Others are gripped by fear of rejection and a longing for approval. Still others are emotional prisoners."

In this bestseller, Lies Women Believe, Nancy exposes those areas of deception most commonly believed by Christian women—lies about God, sin, priorities, marriage and family, emotions, and more.

​She then sheds light on how we can be delivered from bondage and set free to walk in God's grace, forgiveness, and abundant life. Nancy offers the most effective weapon to counter and overcome Satan's deceptions: God's truth!

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What lies do you find yourself telling yourself most often?