The Sticking To is What Makes Change Happen

7 Ways to Stick to That New Year's Resolution

1/4/2019

This is my prayer for the coming year— "...a bit of earth... to plant seeds, to make things grow, to see them come alive." I'm praying for seeds of hope, redemption, love, joy, fulfillment, peace, compassion, and encouragement!

“Might I,” quavered Mary, “might I have a bit of earth?” “Earth!” he repeated. “What do you mean?” “To plant seeds in—to make things grow—to see them come alive.” —Frances H. Burnett, The Secret Garden

I made a New Year's resolution way back in 2015, you can read more about that here. That resolution changed my life! Probably the only resolution I've ever stuck to, and that made all the difference.

The "sticking to" is what makes change happen! A lot of times we don't want to see change happen. Many of us don't even like change unless it's the kind in the cupholder of our car.

But change can be a good thing. Sometimes we need change. Occasionally we even want change. So when change is a good thing, and we are welcoming it into our lives, how do we make it stick? Maybe you rang in the new year with a determined resolve to quit something old or start something new. You've decided to do less of this or more of that. Ditching an old, bad habit or starting a new, good habit takes some sticking to.

A survey of the top 10 New Year's resolutions:

Eat healthier
Exercise more
Lose weight
Save more money
Spend less money
Learn a new skill or hobby
Read more
Find a better job
Drink more water
Spend more time with family and friends

Do some of these resolutions sound familiar? I'm particularly drawn to the "learn a new skill or hobby", and who doesn't need to drink more water? Maybe these are some of the same resolutions you made last year. But last year, sadly, they didn't stick. This is a different year! We're going to make those resolutions stick this year because you and I both know that sticking to them is what makes change happen! So, how can we ensure that our determination to quit this or start that, to do less of this or more of that sticks?

7 ways to stick to that New Year's resolution:

Keep it real
Take baby steps
Understand the why
Be committed
Reward yourself
Learn from the past
Be grateful

Keep it real. Let's face it, we are probably not going to run a marathon or participate in a triathlon this year. And losing 50 pounds, should we need to, might be a tough one also. Those are lofty goals. But what if we just want to start walking, or lose enough weight to fit into those clothes we once loved? Those goals are real. We can do that! Those are the types of goals we can stick to. And when we stick to those goals, then maybe someday we will run a marathon, participate in a triathlon, or lose all the weight we need to. With perseverance, encouragement, and support, you can do this. Real goals turn into what seemed like unattainable goals when we stick to them. And when we stick to it, we inspire others to stick to it as well. Some will cheer us on. Others will be inspired. So keep it real!
Take baby steps. Set written goals with time limits. Break those goals down into smaller weekly and daily baby steps. Read them aloud to yourself every morning and see what happens! Think small. Think baby steps. Baby steps move you toward your ultimate, bigger goal quicker. Each baby step will build your confidence and help you succeed at the bigger, more difficult-to-reach goal. When you begin your day with a plan you have a better chance of checking the boxes and reaching that ultimate goal sooner. So break down those big goals into smaller, more attainable goals. You'll enjoy the success in the end when you start with baby steps.
Understand the why. Understanding why we need to make changes in our lives is important. Until we understand the why, sticking to is likely not going to happen. Old habits and routines are difficult to break. It is challenging to make changes even when we know they are good for us. So when you're considering a change, take time to think it through. Adopting a new behavior becomes more attractive and you boost your chance of success when you understand the why.
Be committed. Make yourself accountable to others. Use social media, written or verbal commitment. Be bold! Post your commitment on Facebook. Shout them out to your followers on X. Instagram your goals with a selfie. Seek out friends with like-minded goals. Be accountable to people you don't want to let down. That will even strengthen your commitment. Some goals, like drinking more water or making more time for family, have immediate, positive payouts. However, other goals, like learning a new skill or hobby, take time to see the payout. Especially when the positive payout is not immediate, be patient with yourself and be committed!
Reward yourself. We all like rewards, don't we? Star stickers used in kindergarten classrooms still make me happy as an adult. It's the little things! Don't wait until you've reached the big goal to reward yourself. You deserve a reward for the baby steps as well. Give yourself an attaboy, a pat on the back, and maybe even a star sticker when you reach those baby steps. It's important! Find a support group to cheer you on. You may even find an online support group to be helpful. Be your own motivational speaker. Be your own life coach. Reward yourself daily.
Learn from the past. We've all failed at some point in the past to make a change. Let's ask ourselves why. Let's learn from the past. Each sincere attempt to make a positive change represents a lesson learned. If you hit a brick wall, step back and take a moment to think about what did and did not work for you. Maybe you took on too big of a challenge? If so, dial it back a bit, and make that goal more attainable. Or as we said earlier, break that big goal down into a few baby steps. When we realize that failure is just a lesson learned, we learn from the past.
Be grateful. Don't aim for perfection. Set your sights on the goal, but embrace the journey! When you complete a marathon you are already a winner even if you walked that last six miles. I've been there. I know. I've done that. I got the t-shirt. The finish line is still there even if you don't run the whole marathon. This can be said of whatever goal you choose. The benefit is in the journey. If you don't reach the finish line the way you envisioned don't beat yourself up about it. Be kind to yourself! Any progress toward the ultimate goal is always better than no progress at all. Be grateful for progress and embrace the journey.

Back to my prayer for the coming year— "...a bit of earth... to plant seeds, to make things grow, to see them come alive." This year I want to plant seeds of hope, redemption, love, and joy. I also want to plant seeds of fulfillment, peace, and compassion. And of course, seeds of encouragement!

These are the seeds I want to plant in our online community at InstaEncouragements. Hope, redemption, love, joy, fulfillment, peace, compassion, and encouragement.

These are the seeds we all should be planting in our own lives.

How can we accomplish this in the coming year? One way I know is to step out of our comfort zones. Go out into the darkness, into the unknown. And how can we do that except we put our hand into the hand of God? For "that shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way." —Haskins

If you have made New Year's resolutions but rarely stuck to them, I dare you to read Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff. It might just be the best gift you've ever given your goals!

"Goals you don’t finish don’t disappear. They become ghosts that haunt you. Scientists call it the, “Zeigarnik Effect.” You remember incomplete goals more than completed ones.

Have you ever had that experience where you go to bed and tell your brain, “Time to sleep!” And your brain replies, “What if instead we thought about things you failed at three years ago?” That’s the Zeigarnik Effect.

The problem is that a goal is never just a goal. It’s a promise. A promise that you make to your loved ones, your friends and ultimately yourself.

If you break that promise enough times, you mistakenly start to think that’s part of your identity. The longer you break old promises, the harder it is to make new ones. The second you make a new one, self doubt creeps in and says, 'This is going to go the way it always goes.'" -Jon Acuff

That’s why you need the book Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff. He's humorous, but also really helpful because he knows the problem is frustrating for so many of us. The book is loaded with research but super practical at the same time. It's also a great gift for the perfectionist in your life. Check it out!