The Epidemic of Complaining Moms

We are all complainers every now and then. It’s all too easy to see negative things in our lives and verbalize our displeasure about them. Some of us just say it like it is while others of us mask our negativity in humor or sarcasm. When we take a step back we realize that what comes out of our mouths is really coming from what is hidden in our hearts. So, complaining is an outward manifestation of an inward problem.

The children of Israel complained all the way through the Old Testament, but the root of this negativity was always the same. The real problem was that they felt God was not giving them what they needed or thought they needed. Complaining is like a cancer which spreads quickly and is deadly. ​Remember when the spies came back from the Promised Land? The ten negative spies gave their report, and Numbers 14 says all the people wept and complained to Moses and Aaron. 

A time of joy and claiming the promise came to an abrupt stop, which killed their faith to proceed with God’s plan.

​A young mom came to me with some real concern about moms complaining about their children and parenting. She asked, "What do we do when a mom starts complaining about her children? We want to connect, so it is tempting to jump in with negative comments about our own children."

​Let’s first look at the effects of complaining about our children and why each is unbiblical:

• It admits we are not happy with our lot from God, BUT Psalm 34:10 says, "They who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing.”
• It shows we are powerless—especially in the area of discipline, BUT “I can do all things through Christ”—even parenting (Philippians 4:13).
• It gives the unspoken idea that children are a pain, BUT “children are a blessing from the Lord" (Psalm 127:3).
• It does not show respect to our children, BUT the Bible says be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32).
• It sends the message that we can’t wait until children are grown, BUT “redeem the time” (Ephesians 5:16)!
• It reveals our selfishness because life would be better if we didn’t have to think of these kids, BUT by love we are to serve one another (Galatians 5:13).

Moms, do your best to change a negative conversation into a positive one.
​When a mom starts complaining about her child’s bad behavior and speaks as if she is powerless to control it, be like iron sharpening iron to encourage her biblically. Speak to her humbly not arrogantly, because you are both learning how to parent little sinners. The difference between complaining and bearing one another’s burdens is big. Pray together about your children asking for wisdom in parenting.

​This is a great Titus 2 opportunity.
​Older women should be teaching the young moms “to love their children.” Encourage moms in a positive way to enjoy each stage of their children’s lives—not that there won’t be challenging moments like sleepless nights, potty training accidents, and communication issues.  But oh how precious are the cuddles in the quiet of the night, the victory of no more diapers, and talking through life issues with your teen! Help young moms realize that they can make it through the rough days, and they don’t have to fear the future. Pray with them that God will give them daily wisdom, power, and patience as they parent.

Complaining leads to rebellion, unhappiness, discouragement and even defeat in the home, but right words spoken are encouraging to everyone. Moms, work on having a pure heart and ask God to keep the doors of your mouth, especially when it comes to complaining about your children.

So, how do you respond when a mom starts complaining about her children?