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The Epidemic of Complaining Moms

7/26/2019

12 Comments

 
The Epidemic of Complaining Moms
We are all complainers every now and then. It’s all too easy to see negative things in our lives and verbalize our displeasure about them. Some of us just say it like it is while others of us mask our negativity in humor or sarcasm. When we take a step back we realize that what comes out of our mouths is really coming from what is hidden in our hearts. So, complaining is an outward manifestation of an inward problem.

The children of Israel complained all the way through the Old Testament, but the root of this negativity was always the same. The real problem was that they felt God was not giving them what they needed or thought they needed. Complaining is like a cancer which spreads quickly and is deadly. ​Remember when the spies came back from the Promised Land? The ten negative spies gave their report, and Numbers 14 says all the people wept and complained to Moses and Aaron. 
A time of joy and claiming the promise came to an abrupt stop, which killed their faith to proceed with God’s plan.

​A young mom came to me with some real concern about moms complaining about their children and parenting. She asked, "What do we do when a mom starts complaining about her children? We want to connect, so it is tempting to jump in with negative comments about our own children."
​Let’s first look at the effects of complaining about our children and why each is unbiblical:
  • It admits we are not happy with our lot from God, BUT Psalm 34:10 says, "They who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing.”
  • It shows we are powerless—especially in the area of discipline, BUT “I can do all things through Christ”—even parenting (Philippians 4:13).
  • It gives the unspoken idea that children are a pain, BUT “children are a blessing from the Lord" (Psalm 127:3).
  • It does not show respect to our children, BUT the Bible says be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32).
  • It sends the message that we can’t wait until children are grown, BUT “redeem the time” (Ephesians 5:16)!
  • It reveals our selfishness because life would be better if we didn’t have to think of these kids, BUT by love we are to serve one another (Galatians 5:13).
Moms, do your best to change a negative conversation into a positive one.
​
When a mom starts complaining about her child’s bad behavior and speaks as if she is powerless to control it, be like iron sharpening iron to encourage her biblically. Speak to her humbly not arrogantly, because you are both learning how to parent little sinners. The difference between complaining and bearing one another’s burdens is big. Pray together about your children asking for wisdom in parenting.
​This is a great Titus 2 opportunity.
​
Older women should be teaching the young moms “to love their children.” Encourage moms in a positive way to enjoy each stage of their children’s lives—not that there won’t be challenging moments like sleepless nights, potty training accidents, and communication issues.  But oh how precious are the cuddles in the quiet of the night, the victory of no more diapers, and talking through life issues with your teen! Help young moms realize that they can make it through the rough days, and they don’t have to fear the future. Pray with them that God will give them daily wisdom, power, and patience as they parent.
Complaining leads to rebellion, unhappiness, discouragement and even defeat in the home, but right words spoken are encouraging to everyone. Moms, work on having a pure heart and ask God to keep the doors of your mouth, especially when it comes to complaining about your children.
Debbie
So, how do you respond when a mom starts complaining about her children?
Please Share
12 Comments
Rebecca Hastings link
7/26/2019 10:25:22 am

Great encouragement to check myself and complain less! Thank you!

Reply
Debbie
7/27/2019 11:32:31 am

Taking time to be aware of our words helps us to filter what actually comes out of our mouths. It has to be intentional, for sure. The discussion on the tongue in James chapter 3 includes ALL the words we speak and the attitudes behind them. I'm working on checking myself in this area too!

Reply
Katrina Hamel link
7/26/2019 11:14:52 am

I’ve both listened to complaining moms and been a complaining mom! It’s an easy trap to fall into for sure. When I’m with a complaining mom I like to validate the feelings behind their complaining (because they’re feeling frustrated, incompetent, overwhelmed etc) and then try to build them up so they hopefully feel like they’re not alone and more confident to jump back into the fray!

Reply
Debbie
7/27/2019 11:32:39 am

Sounds like you have a great plan in place to keep things positive and encouraging for other moms! Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Mother of 3
7/26/2019 02:28:21 pm

It's so easy to fall into that trap! In fact I found myself pulling away from other moms for that reason. Once I realized that I was mostly just doing it to "fit in" I started hanging out with other moms. Moms that were mostly positive about being around their kids.

Reply
Debbie
7/27/2019 11:32:49 am

Yes, it's so easy to be negative when you are around other negative people. Good for you seeking out moms who can build you up! Stay in the Word and be the iron sharpening iron kind of mom friend!

Reply
Ashley Rowland | HISsparrowBlog link
7/29/2019 11:18:05 am

I try not to judge another--especially since I haven't been given the opportunity to be in their shoes. However, it's also hard not to get irritated as someone who hasn't been blessed with children of her own when people act like their children are some kind of hoodlums to get away from.

Reply
Debbie
7/30/2019 04:46:27 pm

Thank you, Ashley, for this reminder to be sensitive to others who do not have children of their own. Complaining is not in a vacuum and is hurtful on so many levels. God bless.

Reply
Maree Dee link
7/30/2019 10:52:01 am

What a great post and reminder not to complain about anything. Complaining is so addicting and easy to jump in with a me too in the wrong way. I like turning it into prayer. Thank you Maree

Reply
Debbie
7/30/2019 04:46:44 pm

Yes, prayer is so much more productive than complaining! We have to be on our guard to keep from joining the complaining crowd. By God's grace we can be leaders of encouragement instead of followers of complaining.

Reply
Aimee Imbeau link
8/1/2019 02:13:06 pm

Sometimes I feel like it's the trendy thing to do when mom's complain about their kids. Or like a competition "My kid is worse than yours". I know the damage that parental complaining or 'kid-bashing' does, so I make every effort not to do that with my kids. It just ruins the relationship we have with them. Thanks for sharing on Grace & Truth.

Reply
Patsy Burnette link
7/26/2022 06:40:30 pm

You're absolutely right, Aimee, "It just ruins the relationship we have with them." And on top of that, God is not pleased with a complaining attitude. He says that children are a gift and a blessing (Psalm 127:3).

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