Learn more in this interview with Barb:
Q: What are the six surrender principles and when should they be used?
Letting go of control-loving behaviors isn’t a switch that we can just flip. Rather, we need a new set of tools. Those new tools are six Surrender Principles that we can activate and apply whenever fear flows through our hearts or we’re tempted to flee, fix or force a solution. Each week, participants learn a new principle:
Q: Why is it so hard to trust God to take care of us when He promises that is what He will do?
I don’t know about anyone else, but I expect that God will do things like I would do them. So, when I’ve got a problem that I can’t fix, and then God either seems to delay or doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it, I get disappointed. I’ve learned that disappointment is often the doorway that leads to distrust. However, Isaiah 55 reminds us that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. So, in my experience, wilderness seasons have lasted a long time because it takes me a long time to let go of my expectations and learn to wait in anticipation.
Here’s a big lesson for me: wilderness seasons have taught me to trust God’s heart in hard times.
In fact, I introduce what I like to call the three “Wilderness ABC’s” for when we’re in a wilderness season or facing a difficult trial:
Q: What are some of the lessons that trials can teach us?
While some people may not agree, I’m not a fan of the saying that “everything happens for a reason,” which many mistakenly believe is the message of Romans 8:28. When we try to apply earthly explanations to everything that happens, that approach could lead people to feel that God intentionally causes bad things to happen in order to teach a spiritual lesson. God doesn’t do backhanded blessings. However, God does redeem our trials when we keep our eyes on Him in the midst of what we’re walking through.
Q: What are some of the things we need to let go of in our lives?
The reality is that our hearts have to let go of the situations that we cannot control. In the Surrendered study, I identify five control-loving behaviors (SHINE behaviors) that we need to let go in order to live like Jesus and experience God’s power, peace and provision.
Those SHINE behaviors are Scorekeeping, Helicoptering (Micro-managing), Interrupting, Nagging and Excessive Planning/Stockpiling. When we use these behaviors in our attempt to control others or outcomes, we’re shining the attention on ourselves and what we want instead of trusting that God knows what’s best.
Q: What are the steps to letting go?
Letting go or surrender is a prayer and a process. Rather than identify steps, I identify four questions in the “Letting Go Loop” that equip control-lovers to not only identify their control-loving behaviors but also identify God-honoring and life-giving next steps toward letting go and living like Jesus:
Trials can teach us to worship God more, depend on ourselves less and to become more like Christ. Even though those lessons are tough to learn, the blessings that we receive during our wilderness season and on the other side is absolutely worth it!
Q: We’re all familiar with the old saying, “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.” How can that apply to us in a spiritual context?
There have been a few times in my life when I used control-loving behaviors to get what I wanted, only to discover that my prize wasn’t God’s best.
In my early 20’s, I wanted to buy a home. While I didn’t have all of the resources that I needed, both in money and wisdom, I pushed forward and pulled out all the stops to buy that house. Even though it was a lovely home where I raised my family, there were many times over the years when expensive repairs and other home-owner related issues popped up as a consequence of forcing my way into a property that I probably should have asked a few more questions about. More than 20 years ago, I began praying John the Baptist’s prayer in John 3:30: “He must increase. I just decrease.” Back then, my life wasn’t perfect, but I had a great career, happy marriage and healthy children. However, my faith tended to fall behind everything else in my too-full-of-good-things life. God has been answering that prayer in big and small, happy and heartbreaking ways. The most powerful way that God has increased in my life came as a result of a long-term addiction issue in my household that led to the devastating end to my 26-year marriage. However, I could see and feel God’s power, presence and provision throughout that painful experience. He has increased in my life in ways that I am eternally grateful.
Q: What are some ways women can creatively come together to do the study as a group, even if they aren’t able to meet in person?
While I hate the difficult circumstances that the COVID-19 outbreak has created around the world, but I love seeing how God dropped some opportunities in place before we realized that we needed them. Here are a few wonderful opportunities that are available during these wild times:
Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about connecting women to one another and to God helping them apply the truths of God’s Word to the practical realities and challenges they face as women in today’s culture.
Roose lives in Toledo, Ohio, and is the proud mom of three adult daughters. Her perfect day includes sleeping in, taking a long walk outside, shopping for shoes and eating two big bowls of chocolate peanut ice cream.
Are you facing a problem in life that you just can't fix, no matter what you do? Perhaps you've heard the phrase "Let go and let God." But it's easier said than done. Is it possible that giving up on what you can't change is God's path to peace for your life? In this six-week Bible study of Jesus in the wilderness, Barb explores Jesus' time of testing and contrasts it with the Israelites' failures in the wilderness.
Bible Study Features:
Which one of these principles do you need to work on the most?
2 Comments
5/25/2020 11:07:46 am
I love these reminders today. Barb's words of encouragement are so relevant and helpful. I'm sure her Bible Study would be extremely helpful for all of us control lovers. ;-)
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1/29/2024 05:20:02 am
Ashley, I'm encouraged to read that you found Barb's words relevant and helpful! If you're a fan of Bible studies (who isn't, right?) or simply looking for great resources on managing control tendencies, exploring her study could indeed be beneficial.
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