How the Resurrection Impacts Mamas Who’ve Lost

I remember standing over my baby boy’s fresh grave. Tears streamed down my face as waves of grief welled up inside me, about to explode through my chest as great sobs.

I laid the carefully-picked blue and white flowers down and looked up through the trees to the same colored sky. 

This pain is too great! Jesus, come quickly!

So often my reaction to pain is for Jesus to take me out of it. But what if He doesn’t? (which is typically the case) Where is hope if not found in relief?

My hope is in Jesus. He is the One who endured unimaginable pain and then conquered death so we could have life and hope no matter the pain or death we experience.

I don’t say this lightly. It’s been almost a decade since my son left my arms to be with Jesus. I remember it all like it was yesterday.

​You can read more of my story and grief processing on my blog here.

How does this verse apply to such deep pain?

“I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

I didn’t feel like I had abundant life. My baby didn’t have abundant life. So what is Jesus talking about?

Two things come to mind:

1. Look at the context.
   Verse 11 says, “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.” 
   
   So the abundant life Jesus offers must be different in some way than the life we’re experiencing now. We know this because He talks about His death—the thing that ends our current life. His death is connected to abundant life. This makes me think of point 2.
   ​​
2. New abundant life is connected to unstealable joy.
   Take a look at John 16:20-22 with me. “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice.” 
   
   Mamas who’ve lost, don’t we know it? Maybe you feel like you’ve “done everything right” yet you’re the one who’s lost a baby. But that mama over there, who seems to care nothing for her life, or her baby’s, let alone her relationship with God gets blessed with a baby who’s alive and healthy.
   
   “You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy.” 
   
   Wait.. what? Is there some overpromising going on here? (Just being honest) 
   
   “When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” 
   
   Maybe, like me, you hadn’t experienced a birth with joy before you experienced loss. So maybe, like me, this verse feels unrelatable. But the truth is that even if sorrow overshadows all joy, there is still a small presence of joy when you get to see your baby’s face for the first time. Even if it’s nothing like what you hoped or dreamed.
   
   “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” 
   
   Ah! Here’s the connection!
   
   ​It sounds like Jesus is talking about how His friends will sorrow now—they’re about to see Him take on the sin and brokenness of the whole world and then die. And it sounds like Jesus is also talking about His resurrection—“I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice.” 

So… (just processing this through as I write) Jesus’ friends will sorrow so so deeply. But then Jesus rising from the dead and all that that means will be so impactful and life-changing that their joy will overshadow—maybe even push out completely—the sorrow they felt.

That joy must be pretty incredible!

So what is the catalyst for this joy? 

Is it because Jesus says that when they see Him again, He’ll have a good gift for them?
​Is it because Jesus says He will remove pain and brokenness from our current lives?

No. Jesus doesn’t say that.

The cause of this joy is Jesus Himself. 

• Seeing Him—His scars, His eyes. 
• Touching Him—knowing that He really did rise again, not out of body, but in His body. 
• Hearing Him—His words of power, His words that spoke life in the beginning (Genesis 1:1, John 1:1) and speak life today (Hebrews 1:3, John 11:43).

Is this the kind of joy your soul longs for?

​Yes, girl! Me too! And, by God’s grace, this has been something I’ve experienced and share with others through New Mercy Moms.

At New Mercy Moms we empower mamas who’ve lost to find hope and healing in Jesus.

Does this sound like you or a mama you know and want to support through her loss?

I created a guide just for you.

Grieve Well—My 5 Steps For Godly Grief After Miscarriage or Infant Loss

It’s a simple guide of steps that have been game-changers for me personally and for the women I’ve counseled over the years.

Sign up for New Mercy Moms email updates and you’ll receive it straight to your inbox.

​And while you can definitely follow New Mercy Moms on Instagram and Facebook, and we'd love that, I highly recommend subscribing via email if you don’t want to miss a thing. You’ll receive simple, yet practical resources to help you find hope and healing wherever you are on your grief journey.

Did you sign up yet? 

See you in your inbox soon! 

Soli Deo Gloria,

If you know a mom who has suffered the loss of a child, I hope you will share this helpful resource with them. Give them the opportunity to sign up for email updates from New Mercy Moms and follow them on Instagram and Facebook. 

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