Finding A Sure Hope After Deep Loss

About 4 years ago, one of the worst things that I could’ve ever imagined happened to me. My husband and I lost our firstborn son Jack. Read more about that story here.
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Last year I came across the book Therefore I Have Hope by Cameron Cole at a large Christian conference. I had heard about it and knew the author had also lost his son unexpectedly, but was unsure if I should read it. Plus, the cover picture looked more sad than hopeful. I was afraid of weeping through the entire book. Could I handle that? I didn’t feel like I had any strength to be weak again.

Well, I finally did start reading it, and I’m so glad I did. From the very beginning, it has been an incredible source of encouragement to me. So much so, that I wanted to write a letter to the author to thank him.

​I highly recommend this for anyone whose world has been shaken by tragedy—whether it be the loss of a loved one, severe illness, abuse, or other deep and painful trial.

Here is my open letter to Cameron Cole: ​

Thank you so much for writing your book Therefore I Have Hope: 12 Truths That Comfort, Sustain, And Redeem Through Tragedy. Even though I didn’t start reading it till around the 3rd anniversary of my son’s passing, it has been an incredible help to me. I wish I had the book when my worst happened because I believe I would have found hope a little sooner than I did. 

I would love to share with you a little of my story and then a few main ways God has used your book in my life.

Four years ago in November, our son Jack was born with an unexpected fatal deformity. He lived 2 weeks in the NICU, went through 3 major surgeries, but couldn’t survive the recovery. He was the cutest little brown haired, blue eyed baby boy I’ve ever seen in my life. 

The best days were when he opened his eyes and looked at me and wrapped his tiny hand around my finger. The worst day was when the nurses called Code Blue as he suffered unexplained internal bleeding and organ failure. I’m thankful I was able to hold him as he passed from my arms into Jesus’ arms. It makes me weep whenever it comes to mind.

I’m thankful for the counsel I received from my pastor’s wife for over a year. I'm also thankful for how the church both near and far reached out to show love and care for me and my husband as we grieved. 

Grief was nothing like me or my husband expected. The way you describe your story and grief throughout your book helped us realize that you too felt the depths of pain that seem unfathomable before being experienced. If God could give you a steadfast hope, then surely He could give it to us too.

In the first chapter on grace, you describe “grace for this hour.” That has been a game changer for me. There have been many days over the past several years when I wake up overwhelmed and ask God for grace to get to breakfast. When I get to breakfast, I plead with God for grace to get to lunch, then dinner, then bedtime, and then the morning. I needed to learn my desperate need for daily and hourly grace. Thank you for gently helping me realize that in this chapter.

Your chapters on God’s providence and finding joy again have been critical for me. Going through my worst shook me to my core on what I believed about God. My responses to the way God worked in/through tragedy revealed that I barely knew the Source of true joy. When it comes to reading books, I often mark up the pages with my thoughts and reactions. Throughout my copy of Therefore I Have Hope, you’ll find notations. In the chapters on providence and joy, you might be overwhelmed by all the notes—from underlining, to stars and hearts, to exclamations like “Wow!” and “Praise God! Never thought of that!” Thank you for clearly articulating and applying what the Bible says about providence and joy. Mind blowing. Life changing.

Another thing I really appreciated about your book is the Narrative Of Hope at the end of each chapter. This helped sum up the Truths you just hashed out from Scripture and put them in a memorable way. The Narrative Of Hope is a resource I can continue to go back to to remind me of the Truths learned and Hope found.

The cherry on top for me—and the part that made me weep like a baby—was the epilogue. I had recently found out I was pregnant and was struggling. The ultrasound tech gave us a due date of 11/21, which is the 4 year anniversary of Jack’s passing. I realize babies hardly come on their due dates, but the idea of my second child being born on or near the day my firstborn died sounded horrible to me. I didn’t want this child’s birthday to have any hint of sadness. I told God it’d be too hard. I didn’t think I could handle it. But then I read your epilogue. I wept. If God can help you see the beauty of His redemptive story in having your second son be born on the day you buried your first, then He can help me too. And He is helping me! God is slowly but surely changing my thoughts about my second child’s due date and helping me put my hope in Him. I praise God for that and for using your story to help do that.

I’ve already gotten the book for some family members and have highly recommended it to several friends. I usually say something like, “If you’ve ever gone through hard times, care about someone who’s gone through hard times, or counsel anyone who’s gone through hard times, then you should read this book.” Which basically means EVERYONE. :) 

Thank you for not keeping your story to yourself, but allowing God to use it to help others. 

2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 ESV 
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort."

God bless,

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Therefore I Have Hope

Therefore I Have Hope: 12 Truths That Comfort, Sustain, and Redeem in Tragedy by Cameron Cole

​"Throughout the journey of my worst nightmare—my descent into a dark, sad valley—the Holy Spirit would remind me of truths that comforted my soul and sustained my life."

"After the sudden death of their three-year-old son, Cameron Cole and his wife found themselves clinging to Christ through twelve key theological truths--truths that became their lifeline in the midst of unthinkable grief. Weaving together their own story of tragic loss and abiding faith, Cole explores these twelve life-giving truths to offer hope and comfort to those in the midst of tragedy." --goodreads

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If you have been shaken by tragedy, where have you found your source of encouragement?