Choosing Motherhood

This Mother’s Day was my first time being included in the “mother club.” It felt good—if strange—to have people wishing me a “Happy Mother’s Day.” So many people assured me this past Sunday that I was indeed a mother, and it got me thinking about what truly makes a mother and why we actually celebrate mothers.
 
We celebrate mothers because of the relationship we have with them. For those of us blessed enough to have had good, godly mothers, this relationship is one that imitates God’s relationship with His children because it is a relationship built upon often unrequited sacrifice, selflessness, and love.

​Just like we love God because He first loved us, we love our mothers because they have shown so much love for us before we even knew how to reciprocate. 

Not every woman becomes a mother, just like not every man becomes a father, and that is okay. Women are not born mothers. Some women cannot bear children. Others choose not to marry and start a family.

​Motherhood is so valuable because it is a choice that women make in life—and it is a big choice.

God created men and women with a desire to care for the children that they bear because this was His original design for the family—a unit designed to love each other like He loves His children. But, like every other good thing God has created, our sinful natures and the corrupt world we live in have tarnished motherhood.
 
Motherhood is worth celebrating because it is something good in a world of evil. True motherhood is something rare in a world of selfishness. It is a relationship God created that still thrives in a world where so many seek to twist, manipulate, and ruin it.
 
How do I know virtuous mothers are a rarity? Because the Bible tells us that virtuous women are themselves rare.

As we grow and mature, sometimes the desire to have children grows with us, but the desire for children and the choice of motherhood are very different things.

So, how do women become mothers?

• Some women who conceive choose not to be mothers either by aborting their unborn child or by refusing to take even basic care of the children they do birth into this world.
• Other women are excited to birth children into this world—not because they feel unconditional love for them—but because it is expected of them. Motherhood is merely another aspect of life they can broadcast on Instagram with staged pictures that show a deceptively perfect family on the outside, even if they have little time or affection for their children off social media.
• Those of us who have mothers who chose to be what God designed motherhood to be—we are the blessed ones. Because true motherhood is a choice, not a natural phenomenon. True motherhood is an act of obedience and sacrifice—not a glamorous photo op.

 
In my opinion, motherhood is a choice of obedience to accept the responsibility and sacrifice of raising a developing a human soul that God created and placed in your care. I’m not saying that only Christians can be “good mothers,” but some women recognize the importance of a life being entrusted to them, and some women choose not to.

Motherhood is about so much more than a positive pregnancy test and a hospital birth that makes a child biologically yours.

• Motherhood is a choice to purposefully care for that child’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
• Motherhood is a choice to sacrifice your own desires for the good of that child.
• Motherhood is something to be praised because it is not something that all women choose, regardless of whether or not they have birthed a child.

 
I’m definitely not the expert on motherhood, as my first child is still squirming inside my belly as I write. But that squirming, jabbing bundle of limbs that won’t let me sleep at night is a baby girl who has already made me a mother.
 
She made me a mother when I saw those two pink lines on my pregnancy test—and the three tests I took afterward just to make sure.

​Why did I become a mother at that moment? Because I instantly felt the wonder and excitement of that revelation seeping into a feeling of overwhelming responsibility and a complete change for my future. Because at that moment, I was already beginning to make choices that sacrificed my own desires for the good of my child:

• I scheduled a doctor’s appointment even though I hate doctor’s appointments.
• I limited my coffee intake starting the very next day.
• I ordered an overpriced organic prenatal vitamin.
• I started drinking more water.
• I kept trying to eat even when I was so sick I didn’t want a thing.

​These may seem like small things. Ultimately, they are very small sacrifices in the scheme of motherhood—just the beginnings of sacrifice and responsibility. But they were choices I was already making for the sake of my child because God had given me a human life—a human soul—to take care of. And I chose at that moment to accept that responsibility.
 
Not one of us mothers is going to be perfect. But God has been impressing me more and more as my baby girl’s due date creeps closer, that true motherhood is a choice. It is a choice that inspires millions of tiny choices for the rest of your life.

When I become overwhelmed at the prospect of being a mother, I remember how all the little choices of my own mother made such a difference in my life.

• I remember my Mom giving up her own portion of ice cream when I complained that mine was too small.
• I remember my Mom giving up her own time to teach us at home instead of sending us to school.
• I remember my Mom letting me read my book in the car instead of helping her with the grocery shopping.

Ultimately, motherhood is in the little choices that stretch into big things over a lifetime. My daughter won’t remember every sacrifice I will make on her behalf, but maybe a few of them will stick out in her mind and teach her about Christ’s sacrificial love and how we can show that love to others.

​I plan on enjoying motherhood, but I also know that it will require a lot of time, sacrifice, and trials. True motherhood is the opposite of selfishness in a world that’s all about being true to yourself and living your best life.

Have you ever thought of the relationship between a mother and a child as one that imitates God’s relationship with His children?