A Prayer for the Broken-Hearted

This past week my husband and I received some soul-crushing news. A dear friend of ours had ended his own life. While we knew that he had wrestled over the years with seasons of depression, most people would never have guessed that he had any such struggle.

He was one of the kindest, most effervescent, and most selfless people I’ve known. He loved the Lord and his family. He faithfully served the Church. But away from watchful eyes and in the private spaces of his heart and mind, he struggled. He fought until the very end to try to overcome the darkness and depression, clinging to His faith and Scriptures such as Psalm 143.

​To say that his family and friends are gutted, not only to have lost him but in such a way as this, is an understatement. There are no words. For the past days, even now, it is all I can think about. 

The pain, the void, and the uncertainty — as there are questions for those left behind that must remain unanswered this side of eternity. I’ve cried countless tears, not only to have lost our friend but for his family as well, who are as dear to me as my own. 

​When tragedy strikes and the unimaginable happens, it feels impossible to think, to pray. The words just cannot come, and if they do, they don’t do justice to what we are feeling and experiencing. Praise the Lord that He understands us even when don’t understand ourselves.

“As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:13-14 

“For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26

A couple of days after our friend’s passing, I was at the beach with my husband, watching our daughter play as the waves rolled in. As I stared at the rhythmic lapping of the ocean, a thought began to settle into my mind. Our world and especially the world of our friend’s family felt like chaos. It felt like everything had been turned upside down and shaken. And yet, the tides still came and went. The sun still rose and set. God was and is still in control.

​Life doesn’t make sense right now, but God has not for a single second stopped being our loving, powerful, and perfect God.

​With this truth pressing into my heart, I began to feel comforted. For the first time, I was able to pray and articulate the thoughts and emotions that had been swirling around in me.

​I want to share this prayer with you, knowing that there are certainly others who have experienced or are experiencing similar tragedies and are likewise broken-hearted. I hope it brings comfort and encouragement and spurs you on to find peace, strength, and comfort in the never-failing arms of God. ​

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Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you, Lord, for being a God who is “close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).” Not only do You see us in our pain and our grief, but You also weep with us.
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First and foremost, our friend belonged to you. He was your special creation. You loved him far more deeply than we ever could since You gave Your Son for him. Even in his struggles with depression, Your love for him never wavered. When You redeemed him, you paid for all sins — past, present, and future. He is wholly and completely Yours, and this brings us great comfort. Even though our hearts and strength fail, You, O Lord, never do (Psalm 73:26). 

As this new reality of life without our dear loved ones sinks in, continue to be near us. Help us when we are tempted to doubt Your goodness, faithfulness, and love for us. Help us as we grieve to do so, but not without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Our hearts are broken, but we trust that You will take the shattered pieces and make something new and good (Isaiah 61:3). 

This pain and anguish is more than we can bear, but we know You will give us strength, day by day. When we are plagued by questions, give us peace. When we are overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions and feelings, be our anchor. When the night is in its darkness, remind us that joy will come in the morning (Psalm 30:5). Lord, we cling to You. Who else is there but You? 

For our friend’s wife, unborn child, parents, siblings, and family — Lord, be the God of all comfort and peace. When the loss of what has been and what will never be seeks to crush their hearts, overwhelm them with your goodness and grace. Guide their hearts through days of confusion. Calm the storms of uncertainty with Your Peace. Provide for them both the internal needs of their hearts and the external needs of living day to day. Hold them close in Your everlasting arms.

While we know the truths of Your Word and Your character, we are still hurting, Lord. Help the truths that we know in our heads to penetrate our hearts as each day we wrestle with this new normal. We thank You that You never abandon us or forget us in our afflictions. We still yet have hope because “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:21-22).

Thank you for being the healer of broken hearts, Lord. Ours are still crushed, still raw, still aching. But, we trust that day by day, You can and will heal us. One day our mourning will turn to dancing and all tears will be forever dried. Give us the strength and faith to wait with hope for that day.

What passages of Scripture have you prayed in the face of tragedy and heartache?