4 Ways to Help Your Child Develop Healthy Relationships

Developing relationships is a continuous part of life. From an early age, friendships are made—some for the short-term, others for a lifetime. Your child will make friends, and unless he or she is guided by the wise advice of loving parents, they can easily make friends with the wrong people.

The choice of friends during the formative school years can, and often does, influence a child for they'er entire life. A vital part of parenting is laying out a biblical foundation for your child to follow when selecting friends.

The Bible plays a vital role in how we should choose our friends. What better advice can a child, or a parent, receive than the wisdom and knowledge contained in the pages of Scripture? From Genesis to Revelation, principles and examples of good friendships, like David and Jonathan, provide Christians guidance in building healthy relationships.

Two instructive verses that parents and children alike should take note of are:

These are just two of the verses that will give you and your child insights to biblical guidelines for selecting godly friends and developing healthy relationships.

 "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." ​Proverbs 13:20

"Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals." ​I Corinthians 15:33

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Join the movement and download the free Character Trait Worksheet today!

Get started today, helping your child develop healthy relationships, by downloading this Character Trait Worksheet. The worksheet will take you and your child on a walk through the book of Proverbs with fill-in-the-blanks for 14 verses that will help develop healthy relationships.

"One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor [friend], but the way of the wicked leads them astray." ​Proverbs 12:26

"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." ​Proverbs 27:17 

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4 Ways to Help Your Child Develop Healthy Relationships:

1. Evaluate relationships in the light of God's Word. Avoid giving your child a checklist for selecting friends. Instead, have them develop a list of character traits they should look for in their friends. These characteristics can be based on their personal study of Scripture. Don't attempt to choose your child’s friends for them. Teach him or her how to best choose their own friends. In doing so, you will help them see that they must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16). Obviously, if your child makes friends with someone who has serious, known character flaws, you need to carefully monitor that relationship. In some instances, you may even need to expose your child’s friend for their true worth. Help your child understand the power of uplifting or demeaning characteristics in their friends as these characteristics will either uplift or demean your child.
2. Invite your child’s friends into your home. Be the home that your child's friends want to hang out at. This allows you the opportunity to observe their behavior and listen to their speech. It's best to invite just one child at a time. Take some time to play and communicate with your child’s friend. Get a feel for their character. Build a relationship with your child's friend, AND their parents. Get to know them. Insights can be gained by interacting and observing the effect they have on your child. Once children get comfortable, they tend to reveal their true personalities. Inviting them into your home may infringe on some of your evenings or even a weekend, but this investment of time will always be a benefit.
3. Discuss the behavior of your child’s friends. Don't allow this to become a time of criticism, but instead, make it an opportunity to explore the dynamics of peer to peer relationships. Emphasize accepting and loving others as Christ loves us. At the same time however, honestly evaluate any characteristics that are not Christ-like. This is the time to explain to your child the strong influence that friends have on us and the importance of choosing godly friends. Though you have the final word on who your child spends time with, honestly examine with them how each of his or her friend’s character traits could affect their life. There may be some friends your child wants to share Christ with, or offer encouragement to. Cautiously allow them these opportunities. Some of the relationships your child pursues may require extensive parental involvement. Be willing to set the example of loving as Christ loved. Encourage a balance of friends—some that will lift your child up spiritually, and some who your child lifts up spiritually.
4. Involve your child in friendship-making activities. A Bible-believing church, Christian school or homeschool groups, and Christian camps are all excellent places to begin. Some traditional organizations and athletic teams offer activities that will expose children to positive friends as well. Do be aware though, that not every child attending a Christian activity will be a positive influence on your child. Evaluate each individual according to the Scriptural guidelines that you and your child have determined to establish the kind of friend he or she will be to your child.

1. Evaluate relationships in the light of God's Word.
2. Invite your child’s friends into your home.
3. ​Discuss the behavior of your child’s friends.
4. ​Involve your child in friendship-making activities.

​Friends play an undeniable part in the growth process of our children. In today’s fast-paced society, it is easy to assume that our children’s friendships will take care of themselves, or that Christian friends are always safe for our children. These are not wise assumptions. As in all other aspects of life, our children must be taught how to evaluate relationships in the light of God’s Word.

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Listen Up! Kids Sermon Notes & Prayer Journal

We love this sermon notes and prayer journal, and you'll love it too!

Listen Up! is a one-year journal of pages intended to help your child learn to listen to the message of the sermon while sitting in big church. This is a GREAT IDEA FOR EASTER BASKETS!!! Buy it here.

Fun designs will draw in your child to want to fill in the blanks and answer the questions. The journal style enables your child to take ownership of their learning and realize that this is something they can do. Big church is not just for the adults. The questions move from simply stating who is speaking, about what, and where to find it in the Bible, to what do I need to find out more about and think about how to apply what they've learned.

​Space is also provided for your child to record their prayer requests as they are encouraged to watch and pay attention to how God answers our prayers. Keeping these notes and prayers in one journal through the year will allow your child to look back and see the amazing things they have learned and the ways God has answered their prayers and worked in their life. 

This journal is likely to become a keepsake you and your child will treasure for years to come! Here's a peek at a few of the inside pages.

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We, as parents, have the responsibility of teaching our children how to choose good friends and develop healthy relationships. So, what do you do to assure that your children have the tools they need to do this?