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4 Things to Remember When Life Feels Ordinary

4/29/2022

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"Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt’s words are undoubtedly truer now than when he first wrote them over 100 years ago. ​For so long, man could only compare himself and his life with those he could observe in his relatively small sphere of life. But now we have access to view and compare ourselves with the lives, accomplishments, and experiences of millions across the globe with a touch or swipe of a finger. ​Our ability to create discontentment and restlessness within ourselves has grown exponentially with the advent of newer technologies. And even though we know that what we see presented to us on social media platforms is often crafted and curated in such a way that it lacks true reality, we can still find ourselves feeling disappointed and somewhat underwhelmed by our present circumstances, which invariably do not measure up to those we see around us.
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For myself. I have found this temptation of comparison and discontentment is made even more difficult by the seasons of sameness. Life is marked by these cycles of predictable and ordinary days.
​As children and adolescents, we are constantly casting our gaze ahead to the next “thing.” We look forward to:
  • Becoming a teenager
  • Getting a driver’s permit
  •  Graduating from high school or college

​After finishing our schooling years, we settle into a career and perhaps marry and start a family. As full-fledged adults, you would think we’d feel relieved to finally be where we’ve expectantly looked for so long.


However, in my own experience (and I don’t think I am alone in this), instead of feeling satisfied and settled, there is a temptation for our lives to feel listless and lacking. Every week begins to feel the same:
  • The same job
  • The same tasks
  • The same schedule
  • The same expectations

It may vary slightly from time to time, but at its core life can begin to feel mundane, repetitive, and ordinary. We want something to look forward to, to be excited about. If we’re truly honest, there are even times we want to be able to compare ourselves with the people we see on Facebook or Instagram and feel we measure up to the arbitrary standard of fun, exciting, and exceptional.​
This is true regardless of whether you are male or female, single or married, parent or childless. We all have times of feeling stuck in an average and ordinary life. So how do we combat and overcome such feelings? How do we remain not only faithful where we are but find joy in the beauty of the ordinary life God has graciously given to us? As always, God’s Word shows us the way forward. ​

1. Preach Truth To Your Heart.

The first step we must take to fight feelings that lead to discontentment and discouragement is to replace the thoughts that inform those feelings with thoughts of truth. That is not to say we simply ignore hard things by meditating on positive platitudes. Often, there are truly difficult and even painful things we may be facing day-to-day. Acknowledge those things in your life, but never let them have the final or primary say. David shows us this pattern throughout the Psalms. Consider this example in Psalm 69:
“Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in a deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.” v. 1-3
 
“But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters.”   v. 13-14
This is just one example of the pattern we see in David’s life and his psalms of acknowledging his present difficulties and then calling on God’s mercy in a way that shows he is certain God will rescue him. When we face similar times in our lives, we should respond like David and remind our hearts and minds that God cares for us and His plans and purposes will prevail.
 
Additionally, when life feels monotonous and ordinary we can begin to believe the lie that our lives lack purpose or worth. We need to confront these negative and false feelings with the truth that our circumstances have been designed and brought to pass by a loving and sovereign God. Wherever we are in life, nothing good has been withheld and we have not been forgotten. Our lives are full and rich because they have been given by God and all his gifts are good! When life feels the same and the daily drudgery is wearing you down, remember that even ordinary days and tasks can be done with joy, gratitude, and faithfulness to the glory of God.
Whether your life is simply tedious and stale or you are facing times of real trouble and trials, you are not there by mistake. Whatever we face, we must inform our thoughts and feelings with God’s truth, His attributes, and His character. If we allow our emotions and feelings to be our primary source of truth, we will become slaves to their whims. Put your heart in check and preach God’s unchanging and encouraging truth to yourself each day.

2. Stay Rooted in the Word.

This step definitely goes hand in hand with the previous one. We will have no weapon with which to guard our hearts and minds if we do not immerse ourselves in the Word each day. It is Scripture that equips us to handle any and all situations we face. It gives us the encouragement, instruction, warnings, guidance, and correction we need to live a faithful and profitable Christian life.
”All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17
If we neglect Scripture, we will undoubtedly fill our hearts and mind with worldly wisdom that will fail us and lead us astray. ​
“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.” 1 Corinthians 3:19a
 
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
 
“For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Proverbs 2:6
Perhaps you are in a season of life where you cannot spend long periods of time in the study of God’s Word. While we ought to seek out quantity time in His Word, we must also remember that quality time is far more important.
Rather than holding yourself to reading multiple chapters in a day, spend the time you have diving deep into a few verses or sections of a chapter. This will give you the main truth to dwell on and ponder. As F.B. Meyer said, “Better read less and meditate more than read much and meditate little.” 
 
Another way to really immerse yourself in the Word is to listen to the sermons, Gospel-centered podcasts, and theologically rich music. Our days are often littered with tasks that can be done while we listen to something else. Take advantage of these resources as a means to continuously guard your heart and mind with God’s truth. It will fill even your ordinary days with extraordinary empowerment. ​

3. Seek Out a Godly Mentor.

Mentoring should always be a part of the Christian’s life but especially at times when we are struggling and in need of encouragement. Sometimes this looks like structured, scheduled, and regular meetings, and other times it is simply members of the body of Christ doing life together. However it is organized, Scripture is clear that we ought always to be both mentoring someone and also being mentored as well. ​
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
 
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled.”   Titus 2:3-5
 
“And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”  2 Timothy 2:2
Mentoring relationships are more than just friendship:
  • It is centered on a mutual love for the Lord and His Word.
  • It is a sharing of wisdom and biblical counsel for living.
  • It is allowing what God has done in your life to trickle down and bless others. 
 
I am very fortunate that at a young age my mother both encouraged and required me to find a biblical mentor. She counseled me to select a woman who was at least a generation older than me with whom I would regularly meet. We would, of course, talk about the Word and what God was teaching me, but she was also someone who could speak God’s wisdom into simple, everyday life.

​Over the years, I’ve had numerous such women who were willing to take on that role for me. They have each spoken rich and timely truth into my life. Additionally, God has given me opportunities to do the same for others. 
 
If you are struggling in a season of sameness and a life that feels ordinary and unremarkable, seek out an older, wiser Christian to guide you in this valley. They have doubtless faced similar experiences and can offer you the encouragement, instruction, and accountability you need. ​
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Prov. 11:14

4. Be Where You Are.

As stated earlier, God placed you in this season of life. Instead of viewing our lives the way we did as children (always looking ahead to the next thing), we need to be fully invested in where God has put us, even if where we are doesn’t feel exciting, glamorous, or worthwhile.

Our life is never a waiting room. Where you are at this very moment is important. It is valuable. It is useful.
  • If you are single, don’t allow yourself to feel or be made to feel that life doesn’t begin until you are married.
  • If you are married and anticipating creating a family, don’t fall into the trap of believing that life is less without children.
  • If you are stuck in a career or job that feels like a dead-end, your life can still be rich and full of things that really matter if your true investment is in things of eternal value.
Whatever your case may be, where you are right now is God’s best for you and has immense value. Make the most of it by doing two things:
  1. Be Faithful — Stay faithful even when it doesn’t feel exciting or important. Stay faithful even when it is tiring and tedious. God can and will use it to grow you and impact others. 
  2. Serve Others — It is difficult to stay discouraged when we are looking for those who need encouragement and seeking out ways to be a blessing. If you find yourself constantly focused on yourself and the circumstances you don’t like, change your view and start looking for people who need the love, encouragement, and kindness you can give. 
As a mom of a four-year-old, my life today (and the last few years) is filled with repetition and responsibilities that often feel mundane and extremely ordinary. I have found it very easy to fall into thoughts and feelings of drudgery and discouragement. Day after day is more of the same, and it’s easy to forget that even in this stage and season of life, what I am doing is still very important. God has to constantly remind me that faithfulness in every task — big or small, glamorous or plain, seen or unnoticed — brings Him glory and honor.
 
I cannot compare my life to others. God doesn’t dole out cookie-cutter plans for us to live. His plan for me is unique and special, even if the day-to-day grind doesn’t feel so special. He doesn’t ask me to measure my progress against an Instagram mom or even another woman in my church. He calls me to use His Word and His revealed will as my standard. He calls me to be faithful both in little and in much. 
When life feels ordinary, I must see that as a blessing. Because it is in ordinary moments and days that God can and does grow, change, and use me. It is the sameness of day after day that can produce faithfulness and spiritual strength. In his book Ordinary, author Michael Horton explains:
“It’s those ordinary moments filled with seemingly insignificant decisions, conversations, and touches that matter most. This is where most of life is lived. The richest things in life are made up of more than Kodak moments.”
Ordinary
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If you’re reading this and feeling the tedium of an ordinary life, take heart. These ordinary days, weeks, and years can be used to produce something amazing. Be faithful where you are and trust that God’s plan for you is wonderfully perfect and far from ordinary.
Elisabeth
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