These kinds of friendships are one of my favorite things about my life, and many of my long-term friendships at the time I moved (and even now) were formed easily over the course of shared college classrooms or dorms.
These (for better or worse) are some of the things that go through my head when I (often unconsciously) evaluate whether or not I can be friends with someone. I want to know if our personalities are compatible—if our lifestyles are compatible.
It’s not wrong to want to befriend people who have things in common with me, but the focus of friendship should be what I can do for my friend, not on what my friend can do for me. That leads me to the first lesson I’ve been learning on friendship.
1. Good friendship requires me to be a good friend.
I don’t know about you, but I tend to focus more on the other person’s qualities than I do on my own when forming a friendship. I focus on what they can add to my life—fun times, good conversations, interesting ideas. But it is never healthy to begin a relationship based on what the other person can do for me. That will just make me a user—not a friend.
Jesus is the ultimate example of a good friend. As the Son of God, Jesus wasn’t going to find any friends that could give Him something He didn’t already have, and yet He purposefully built relationships with the sinners around Him. Why? Because He had everything to give them.
In the ultimate act of love, Jesus gave His own life
Are you trying to figure out whether a friend is being a good friend to you? The same rules apply.
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