4 Gifts of Biblical Mentoring

Just before I went off to college, my mom sat me down to give me some wisdom that served me incredibly well through those formative years. Knowing that I was embarking on my first taste of independence and young adulthood and thus lacking in life experience and discernment, she challenged me to find a spiritual mentor as soon as possible. 

She strongly encouraged me to find a woman of God, at least a generation older than I was, who would be willing to meet with me regularly to offer guidance, instruction, and encouragement in my spiritual walk, in addition to practical life advice. 

​That was over 25 years ago, and I can confidently say this has been one of the best gifts my mother has given me. Over the years, I've had numerous women who have graciously come alongside me and poured into my life.​

They have taught me, counseled me, cheered me, and supported me. Additionally, as I have grown and gained life experience and wisdom of my own, I have been blessed to walk beside women who are younger than I and influence them just like the women who have mentored me over many years. 

​Biblical mentoring is a relationship centered on discipleship that equips a younger believer to grow in and live out one’s faith. While we may not find the word “mentoring” in the Bible, the principle of spiritual mentoring is definitely present. 

• “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
• “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
• “And concerning you, my brothers and sisters, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another.” Romans 15:14

Additionally, we have Biblical examples of mentorship in Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy, and many others. In all these instances, we see the incredible value of the focused fellowship of older and younger believers and the passing on of Biblical insight and wisdom. 

God gives us these examples and principles of seeking out mentorship because He knows we need it. Mentoring is a blessing that allows us to live out our faith in community, giving us many wonderful gifts in the process. ​

1. Mentoring fosters spiritual growth.
   Over the years, my spiritual mentors have not only helped me to have a better understanding of theology and the Scriptures, but they have also helped me to see how the truths that I know flesh themselves out in my day-to-day life. God desires that I not just fill my head with knowledge about Him but that I apply what I have learned about Him to my life. This is where real growth happens — when what we know changes who we are. This isn’t something we can do on our own. We need a guide. God knows this and graciously gives not only His Spirit to lead and teach us but also spiritual mentors who can walk alongside us, giving us spiritual wisdom, challenging us to study the Bible more deeply, and helping us work through life issues by applying God’s Word in real time.
   
   
2. Mentoring provides us with accountability. 
   In my opinion, this is one of the greatest benefits of a mentoring relationship. I need accountability if I want to grow in wisdom and progress in the Christian walk. I need someone (actually, many someones) who will speak into my life, challenge me, and call me to repentance when necessary if I want to have victory over patterns of sin. 
   
   As I write this, my husband regularly meets with a young man who wrestles with purity in his thoughts and views. My heart goes out to him because he truly wants to do what is right, but he is living in a world that is constantly bombarding him with temptation. He has tried relying on his own willpower and desire to obey the Lord in this area, but he has quickly learned that is not enough. Understanding that he needed someone to walk beside him and calling him to account in this area of struggle, he reached out to my husband for help. While there are days that he has been able to resist temptation on his own, there are also numerous times that just knowing that my husband is going to check in on him and ask him hard questions is enough to help him not give in to sin in moments of temptation. 
   
   Similarly, if we want to overcome sin or hold to a commitment to grow in our walk, we need accountability from an older, wiser believer to help us on that journey of faith.
   
   
3. Mentoring prevents us from living in isolation.
   I don’t think many of us would disagree with the need for spiritual mentoring. But how many of us prioritize both having and being a mentor? I can mentally understand and agree that a healthy diet and regular exercise is not only good for me but also what God designed my body for, and yet I still eat terribly and avoid physical exertion. Knowing that something is good, perhaps even the best for us, and actually pursuing it are two separate things. 
   
   So, why don’t we make mentoring a priority? I think one of the primary reasons for this is a fear of transparency. Transparency requires us to be real and honest. Transparency means doing away with all pretense and artifice. Plainly said, effective mentoring requires that we allow ourselves to be fully known, warts and all. We have to be ready and willing to say, “These are my faults, failures, weaknesses, and struggles. I need help.” It can be very scary to entrust all of that to another person. 
   
   But I would argue that the benefit of that kind of authentic transparency and intimacy is worth the initial discomfort. A wise mentor who truly loves the Lord is not going to look at you with disdain or reject you because of your failings. In fact, a Biblical mentor will be able to say and mean, “I know. Me too.” 
   
   Every Godly woman who has impacted me as a mentor has not only been real and honest in return with her own shortcomings but also an incredible encouragement and example of how God can redeem broken things. It’s given me great hope to know that if God has been faithful to grow this woman that I look up to and respect, then He can and will do the same for me as I submit to His will. 
   
   We were not meant to do life, especially the Christian life, in isolation. We need the community of the body of Christ. Consider how predatory animals stalk their prey. How do lions, for example, pick their victim? They isolate one from the group. There is great safety within the herd, but when an animal is separated and closed off from its pack, the chance for survival plummets. So it is with us. We need each other. Having a spiritual mentor pulls us out of the danger of isolation and into the safety of community.
   
   
4. Mentoring helps us to navigate life with shared wisdom.
   Almost thirteen years ago, my husband and I were engaged and began our premarital counseling. Our counselors were a Godly couple in our church at the time. To be perfectly honest, our engagement was not the stereotype of a blissful romance. In fact, it was downright painful at times. We had a lot of unrealistic expectations and areas of personal growth to deal with, on top of some family drama and pressure. However, as painful as it was at the time, neither I nor my husband would change any of it now. Although it was painful, it was also remarkably productive. We credit this in large part to the couple God gave us to counsel and mentor us in this season. 
   
   Like us, they had experienced similar obstacles and difficulties in the early years of their marriage. So, not only were they able to share truth and wisdom from the Bible on what God had to say about our relationship, but they also could share their own personal experience and the wisdom they acquired as God taught, grew, and unified them over the years. They truly walked beside us in this season, guiding, challenging, and encouraging us. Their Godly mentorship not only helped us in a difficult season but also set us up for greater success in our newlywed years than if we had tried to navigate it all on our own. 
   
   Fast forward to today — my husband and I are now counseling and mentoring a young couple in our church who are shortly to be married. This couple faced similar trials and hardships to ours thirteen years ago. We have been able to walk through the Scriptures with them and also share the collective wisdom we were taught by our counselors, as well as what we have now learned and experienced over almost thirteen years of marriage! 
   
   Every time we meet with them, the Lord reminds me of how He has compounded the wisdom being shared over generations! Someone faithfully poured into our counselors, who then poured into us. Now, we are passing wisdom onto the next generation, and I have no doubt that someday this couple may be sitting across from another who will reap the shared wisdom of what God has done in multiple marriages!

The truth is that we all need mentors, and we all need to be mentors! There is someone younger than you who is searching for guidance that you can offer. There is also someone older than you who can help you grow in grace and live a more victorious Christian life. God will use the experiences He has brought you through and the truths you have learned to bless His people and strengthen His church! We need each other for growth, accountability, community, and for the wisdom to live a life that honors our great God. 

So, who are your advisors and counselors? Who is speaking into your life, helping you through life’s difficulties, and challenging you to aim higher? Who are you influencing and impacting? Are others benefitting from the fruit God has grown in your life, or are you hoarding it for yourself? Let’s commit to pray for and act on opportunities to have and be spiritual mentors.

“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24–25

​How might your spiritual journey be different if you had a godly mentor—or if you became one for someone else?